Jay-Z’s Deshawn Diss: Meh

April 28th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

I wonder what Jay-Z does all day. I know he’s a business, man, but at some point his surrogates can handle the day’s workload — destroying Redman’s solo career can’t be that taxing — thus freeing up Jigga’s time for important non-retirement activities. Like golfing, or marrying Beyonce. Watching Scarface 50 times. And, of course, writing rap songs about Deshawn Stevenson.

Seriously: Deshawn Stevenson. We gotta get Jay-Z a new habit. This is mid-life crisis stuff right here.

Fortunately, it looks like Stevenson recognizes just how cool it is to be the subject of a mild-mannered, arena-friendly Jay-Z diss:

DeShawn, on the song: “That would never happen in Cleveland. I mean, if I even walked into a Cleveland club right now, I’d have two black eyes and I’d be on crutches. And they’d tell me I deserved it too. So, we’re boycotting Love. No loyalty….[Jay Z’s] worth about $500 million, and he’s writing songs about me? What does that say about DeShawn Stevenson? Ballllllling!”

As for the song, I give it a 5.5. A few good lines in there — something about Lebron not being paid enough — but for the most part it sounds like Jay-Z is as bored rapping about Deshawn Stevenson as everyone else is talking about him. Except me, of course, which is why I wrote this post. But now even I am sick of it, and thus likely to be the last blogger on Earth who dedicates any space to it. This is what it sounds like when stories die.

The Wizards should probably stop trying to injure LBJ

April 22nd, 2008 | Posted by PostmanR

The tactics the Wizards are employing against LeBron James to try and curb his game a bit — namely, the cheap shots shown above in part with this Brendan Haywood push — is pretty tactless, but it’s far from unique. Teams back in the 80’s did this kind of stuff to slow opponents, get in their heads, fire up the fans. And small little physical moves (grabbing jerseys on a screen etc.) go undetected all the time. But as Marcel Mutino points out over at Slam today, how much longer can the Wiz continue to do this?

As far as I can tell, their only goal in the series is to knock him to the ground as much as humanly possible.

On offense, there’s no chemistry whatsoever, as guys simply take turns going one-on-one.

[ … ]

Unfortunately for Eddie Jordan and co., no one on the Wizards seems to really believe in this physical plan. Guys have sheepish looks on their faces after knocking LeBron down; when Brendan Haywood got kicked out of the game last night following his hard foul on James, Antonio Daniels slid over to LBJ and asked him if he was OK.

Can you imagine any of the Riley-Era Knicks or Isiah’s Bad Boys checking on MJ’s well-being during their postseason wars? Me neither. So, there you have it Wizards. No one believes you’re hardbody (not even yourselves); focus on the actual game instead. It’s your only hope.

So not only does the plan leave you with a near 30-point loss last evening, but it’s something you’re not even wholly comfortable to begin with. Yeesh.

{Vid HT: Stet Sports.}

Antawn Jamison got kicked in the balls

April 15th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanR

Courtesy of our guy MW over at Detroit Bad Boys (who seems to love our nut shot vids just as much as we do), here’s Antawn Jamison getting kicked in the nuts. At first you are kind of like: “Meh, what happened here? Sort of lame.”

But when the replay is shown and the announcers let out the “Whooooo!” … you know this is just another unfortunate, yet hilarious nut shot. The world, it still rotates on its axis.

Agent Zero makes up for 50-point boasting

March 22nd, 2007 | Posted by PostmanR

E posted about Gilbert Arenas’ less-than-stellar performance against the Blazers yesterday - a game Gil proclaimed he’d drop 50 points.

Well, last night against the Sonics he dropped 42, including the above game-winner. Apparently, he took his jersey off and smoothed it out against the floor after he nailed the shot, hoping a mob of fans would rush the floor for it. That isn’t on the video, sadly.

When Agent Zero makes bold, stupid proclamations, I sometimes wonder if the novelty of the guy is ever going to run out. But, if he keeps doing things of this nature, I doubt that’s going to happen anytime soon.

It’s going to be tough to get that size 12 Gil Zero out of his mouth

March 21st, 2007 | Posted by PostmanE

As Henry at a little blog called TrueHoop (heard of it?) points out this morning, Gilbert Arenas failed rather miserably in his quest to hang 50 points on the Blazers this season as revenge for his being cut (or “injured,” as Henry points out) from the U.S. National Team last summer.

We all know the story by now - remember, he said he could get 80 at Duke - and got a modicum of revenge earlier in the year at Phoenix when he scored 54 points in an overtime win.

But the Blazers, about whom they should make some sort of inspirational movie now, banded together and gave 100% and all that nonsense and managed not to get embarrassed in for the second straight time this year. By the end of the night, Henry says, the story was all Blazers:

You can see a little of that in these highlights, where Brandon Roy and Sergio Rodriguez both made nice buckets off the dribble drive. But what you’ll have to scrounge for on YouTube one day are the two straight drive-and-kick three-pointers Rodriguez created for Martell Webster, Brandon Roy’s six crunch time points, and most importantly, the Rodriguez-to-Fred Jones alley-oop.

Did I mention that LaMarcus Aldridge had 25 and eight, filling in for grieving Zach Randolph?

Yes, I’m a Blazer fan. It’s a good day to be.

What does all this mean? I guess the big story is one we all knew: careful making promises you can’t keep. But the other story is: who wants to make Portland an offer for Zach Randolph?

So not only did Gil not get his points … but he was so bad he gave Blazer fans hope. Wow.