We’ve got a fever and the only prescription is a list of the best and worst World Cup nicknames

June 19th, 2006 | Posted by PostmanR

Excusing the overused catch phrase used to entitle this post, we decided after hearing names like the ‘Socceroos,’ ‘Three Lions’ and the ‘Black Antelopes,’ it was time to find a list of these nicknames and sort through the rift and the raff to find the greatest of them and the ones not even Brad and Angelina would name their baby.

So, as they say, without further adieu:

Best Names:

Brazil: Canary Selection

This nickname exemplifies why the Brazilians are cooler than anyone else in the world. Although, that was already apparent when they have a dude named Fred scoring goals.

Croatia: the Fiery Ones

The only other thing we’ve ever heard described as ‘fiery’ is the indie rock band the Fiery Furnaces. So naturally, this nickname works for us.

Portugal : The Selection of the Shields

Do not mess with the ‘Selection of the Shields.’ Not now. Not ever.

Spain: The Red Fury

Kind of similar to Croatia’s nickname, except a less interesting adjective and more exciting noun. We think the ‘Fiery Fury’ would be the best name.

Switzerland: the Oath Comrades

We’ve always been big fans of the word ‘comrades.’ But coupling it with ‘oath?’ Pure genius.

Togo: Sparrow Hawks

We don’t know what exactly goes on in Togo, but from the looks of their nickname they’re apparently into weird cross-breading of birds.

And of course, as mentioned in the precursor to this post, we’re big fans of Australia’s, England’s and Angola’s nicknames.

Worst Nicknames:

Argentina : White-Sky Blues

We are the White-Sky Blues. We strike fear into the hearts of men.

Germany : Die Nationalmannschaft (National Team)

This is the only entry in which wrote the nickname out in its mother tongue. That’s because it ends in ‘MANNSCHAFT.’ LOL! Bonus points for zero creativity. National team? Come on Germany.

Ivory Coast: Elephants

At first we thought this was a terrible nickname, but then we remembered those videos of elephants kicking soccer balls really far. We changed our minds.

Iran : Team Melli (National Team)

Like the Germans, uber-creative these Iranians are.

And the worst nickname? Why, the U. S. of A. of course. We don’t even have a nickname. Although we’re sometimes referred to as the ‘Yanks’ or ‘Amerks.’ God Bless America!