Rick Morrissey spits hot lava at Jay Mariotti

April 4th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

Yes, it’s officially “Forgive Bartman” week in Chicago. The same sports culture that made a poor, sheepish little dude its personal whipping boy for five years now wants to welcome the man back to town, to present him with a freshly pressed green turtleneck, some dorky headphones, and a key to city. Everything’s really come full circle. Of course, if I was Bartman I wouldn’t trust the media in this city any more than I’d trust the meatball Cubs fans who believe in the billy goat bullshit. They’re all morons. They’re not to be trusted.

Anyway, this call for amnesty came from a pretty ironic place this week: Jay Mariotti. The same Jay Mariotti who relishes every opportunity to spook Cubs fans about this or that curse, to whom every little decision is a sign that the Cubs are doomed to failure every year. Now Jay wants to forgive Steve. And Rick Morrissey — occasional lunkhead himself — is all over him. Awesome:

And how about an apology from Lord Voldemort over at the Sun-Times, who suggested in a column Wednesday that “the cold war should end” and Bartman should throw out the first pitch at a Cubs game this season.

That’s precious.

This is the same Voldemort who has mentioned Bartman in 107 columns since Game 6 on Oct. 14, 2003, including a very impressive collection of 11 columns in a four-week span ending last October, when the Diamondbacks swept the Cubs in the playoffs. If my math is correct, that averages out to a mention of Bartman once every two weeks for 41/2 years. That’s quite the cold war.

Math! Proof! Evidence! Jay Mariotti is a hypocritical windsock! Oh, you didn’t know?