Moises Alou never really cleared Bartman’s name

June 3rd, 2008 | Posted by PostmanR

You may remember a few month’s back when it was reported that everyone’s favorite urinator, Moises Alou, had finally cleared Steve Bartman’s name. You know, he wouldn’t have caught the ball anyways, all is forgiven etc. etc. Well, turns out that might not be so true after all. Mike Downey digs deep for the Chicago Tribune today and finds the real story. Apparently, Alou was just joking around with the AP reporter who penned the piece.

To wit:

In an actual interview a few days ago with Joe Carpozzi of the Palm Beach (Fla.) Post, the 41-year-old ex-Cub insists he would indeed have caught that infamous Oct. 14, 2003, foul ball at Wrigley Field had a fan not interfered with it.

Exactly as he has been saying all along.

[ … ]

A conversation thus having been struck up, Alou, according to Litke, said this: “Everywhere I play, even now, people still yell ‘Bartman! Bartman!’ I feel really bad for the kid.”

Followed by: “You know what the funny thing is? I wouldn’t have caught it anyway.”

Litke’s other son then told Alou: “Sure you would have.”

And that was that.

So why did the AP writer do a story on it? Why make such a big deal out of it?

He didn’t.

Months passed. Litke did not write a word about it. It was a funny moment on a Manhattan elevator with Alou, who now plays for the Mets, and no more. He and his boys got a laugh or two out of it, end of story.

But then on March 31 of this year, Litke wrote a long essay on 100 years of Cubs bad luck. It ran in USA Today and scores of other publications.

In the 29th paragraph—repeat, 29 paragraphs into the piece—Litke recounted the elevator anecdote. It was not the focus of his story by any means. It wasn’t in the headline AP put on it. It wasn’t presented as any kind of revelation or Alou admission.

But others picked it up and ran with it.

TV shows, radio hosts, etc., raked Alou over the coals. I caught countless references in the media as if the player had finally come forward to change his tune.

So yes: turns out Alou still thinks he would have caught the ball. Hooray for investigatory journalism. (Really, it would have been close, but I give the edge to Alou. It wasn’t like he had no chance.)

But anyways, have you guys heard the one about the Cubs having the best record in baseball? Or peeling off eight straight wins? Yeah, me either.

Rick Morrissey spits hot lava at Jay Mariotti

April 4th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

Yes, it’s officially “Forgive Bartman” week in Chicago. The same sports culture that made a poor, sheepish little dude its personal whipping boy for five years now wants to welcome the man back to town, to present him with a freshly pressed green turtleneck, some dorky headphones, and a key to city. Everything’s really come full circle. Of course, if I was Bartman I wouldn’t trust the media in this city any more than I’d trust the meatball Cubs fans who believe in the billy goat bullshit. They’re all morons. They’re not to be trusted.

Anyway, this call for amnesty came from a pretty ironic place this week: Jay Mariotti. The same Jay Mariotti who relishes every opportunity to spook Cubs fans about this or that curse, to whom every little decision is a sign that the Cubs are doomed to failure every year. Now Jay wants to forgive Steve. And Rick Morrissey — occasional lunkhead himself — is all over him. Awesome:

And how about an apology from Lord Voldemort over at the Sun-Times, who suggested in a column Wednesday that “the cold war should end” and Bartman should throw out the first pitch at a Cubs game this season.

That’s precious.

This is the same Voldemort who has mentioned Bartman in 107 columns since Game 6 on Oct. 14, 2003, including a very impressive collection of 11 columns in a four-week span ending last October, when the Diamondbacks swept the Cubs in the playoffs. If my math is correct, that averages out to a mention of Bartman once every two weeks for 41/2 years. That’s quite the cold war.

Math! Proof! Evidence! Jay Mariotti is a hypocritical windsock! Oh, you didn’t know?