Weekend Fun: Divisional playoffs style

January 12th, 2007 | Posted by PostmanE

Is there a better sports month than January? Think about it: the NBA is in full swing (not to mention approaching the always-fun All Star Game), the college basketball season is entering its bonafide conference schedule, college football wraps up with a bang, and the NFL - well, you know all about the NFL.

That’s where we are this weekend: still digesting the college football season, steadying ourselves under the increasing weight of college basketball, keeping one eye on the NBA schedule, and staying squarely focused on the NFL playoffs, a mammoth entity too great for even the most apathetic NFL fan to ignore. Plus, I mean, the Bears are playing.

So let’s go through the Divisional match ups, completely ignoring the gambling lines - I’m not touching those with a ten foot pole - and see what we’ve got here.

Colts at Ravens, Sat. 4:30 p.m. EST

I confess: I thought the Colts were going to lay about 700 yards rushing to Larry Johnson last week, so perhaps I shouldn’t doubt them so vociferously again this week. But … bah, fuck it: they’re going to get crushed. The Ravens D is second in the NFL in rush defense, first in points allowed, sixth in pass yards allowed, and first in total yards allowed. Sure, Manning might be able to hit on some short routes, but Joseph Addai ain’t seen nothing like this.

Ravens 27, Indianapolis 20.

Eagles at Saints, Sat. 8 p.m. EST

Sometimes, in these playoff games, it takes some sort of extenuating circumstance to pick a rooting interest. A bet, perhaps, or maybe some ill will toward your ex-girlfriend’s new Philadelphia boyfriend. (I made that up. Promise.) But this game is not difficult in the least: New Orleans, a team that could uplift a still-struggling city with the flick of a few Drew Brees spirals, or a team led by … Jeff Garcia. Easy decision.

Saints 34, Eagles 17

Seahawks at BEARS, Sun. 1 p.m. EST

On the set of Superfans: Sure, Da Seahawks got an OK offense, der, Bob, but you know what? I think Rexy’s gonna get it done. Grossman’s line: 9 touchdowns, 0 INTs, 847 yards. (What? It could happen! Me, I’ll be watching the game with a Tank Johnson-like ski cap over my face. I can’t take this stuff.)

In all seriousness, I don’t know what to make of this game. The weather is supposed be nasty, but that doesn’t matter; Seattle isn’t exactly Tampa Bay. No, if the Bears have an advantage, it’s - stay with me here - Cedric Benson. He hits the hole, runs hard, needs no cutbacks and doesn’t rely on his footing to get him places. If it’s slippery, Lovie, GIVE THIS MAN THE BALL. Failing that, line up Rex at wide receiver. Might as well.

Don’t think I’m not keeping the faith, though. Who do you think I am?

Da BEARS 123, Seahawks - 22

New England at San Diego, Sun. 4:30 p.m. EST

Now this is a divisional playoff game. Belichick’s wily coaching style (the Patriots stood pat all year, just barely tipping their hand against the Titans in Week 17; what a coach!) vs. Martyball, a style that has apparently all but left San Diego. Problem is, what if the Chargers are nursing a small lead early? If you were a Charger fan, would you feel safe with that lead, knowing your coach might have a relapse and decide to start handing the ball off as many times as is humanly possible? Phillip Rivers will be taking knees on 1st and 10 at the 25, while Tom Brady sits on the sideline, grinning slyly, waiting for that last fourth quarter drive. Scarrrry.

That said, San Diego is still the best team in the league, and the Patriots laid a playoff stinker last year, so maybe Belichick isn’t so infallible. And it’s in San Diego … you know what? I just talked myself into this. Let’s go Chargers.

Chargers 24, Patriots 21

Gregg Doyel can actually make me argue against one of my favorite players

December 14th, 2006 | Posted by PostmanE

Gregg Doyel has always been something of a mystery to me. There’s no question he’s a good writer; he (probably) wouldn’t be working for CBS Sportsline were he not.

But where Doyel could use the mighty powers of his position, and the Internet, for good, he instead uses them to kind of be an asshole to people in his mailbags. Honestly, it’s funny, but it’s also a dick move, and it would be a lot easier to respect the guy were he not so seemingly fond of the negative attention.

Oh, and sometimes he writes things like this.

The MVP strikes like lightning, but he’s no Bolt

He already owns the NFL’s single-season touchdown record, and has three games left to put it beyond mortal reach. His team has the best record in football, and he is the biggest reason. He is the league’s Most Valuable Player.

Phew. For a second there, your headline confused me. I thought you were going somewhere else than LaDainian Tomlinson on this one. Fortunately, that’s beyond normal reason, and you’re not unreasonable, are you Gregg?

His name is not LaDainian Tomlinson.

Oh.

Sorry. This line of thinking probably comes as a shock. Every time you turn on a television or open a magazine, you are notified that San Diego’s Tomlinson is this season’s MVP. You are reminded of his record number of touchdowns from scrimmage — 29 and counting — and told that he is the MVP as if this is gospel, something to be argued only by an idiot.

I’ll be your idiot.

You said it, not me. But seriously, is it really so renegade to suggest that Tomlinson might not be the most deserving, despite his otherworldly statistics? After all, the most prominent football writer in the country, Peter King, has steadfastly pimped Drew Brees for the award, not only for his crazy statistics, but for the impact he has had on a ravaged area of the country still recovering from a debilitating disaster (whether or not the main victims of the disaster have actually had a chance to, you know, get tickets in the Dome). I mean, if Peter King is going the other way on Tomlinson, there’s wiggle room here, provided the player can at least top Brees’ accomplishments, or, at the very least, there’s a shred of intelligence in the argument for said player. (WEEKEND UPDATE: Bill Simmons, the nation’s most prominent sportswriter, period, is also a Drew Brees proponent. So there’s the two most prominent sportswriters in the country saying the MVP doesn’t belong to Tomlinson, Gregg. Ugh.)

Because Devin Hester is your MVP.

Ha, oh, tell me this is a joke man. I love Devin Hester, but come on. Really? Devin Hester? Go on.

With an NFL-record six returns for touchdowns this season, Hester’s also your Rookie of the Year — but let’s not minimize his value to the Chicago Bears or his impact on this 2006 season by pigeon-holing him into the most conventional award possible.

A rookie can be the MVP. It’s allowed. Not that we need a precedent, but if it’ll make you feel better, fine. Here are your precedents: Rookie MVPs happened in the NBA with Wilt Chamberlain (1960) and Wes Unseld (’69), in baseball with Fred Lynn (’75) and Ichiro Suzuki (2001), and in the NFL with Earl Campbell (1978).

And it should happen this season with Devin Hester.

Hester won’t win because of his rookie status and his specialized role — although Redskins kicker Mark Moseley was MVP in 1982 — and because of Tomlinson, who is on pace to run for 1,780 yards, catch 64 passes and score 36 touchdowns. The Chargers (11-2) have the best record in the AFC. Tomlinson is a strong, strong candidate for MVP.

But to eliminate Hester, to consider the matter closed without even hearing his side, is the very thing you’d expect from the sports media. One or two sportswriters can be brilliant. A group of them, voting en masse? Lemmings. Show them a cliff, give them LaDainian Tomlinson, and watch them race each other to the rocks below.

As if your original sentence didn’t stress the fact enough, yes, Gregg, we get that you consider yourself different from your colleagues. You’re no lemming; you’re a renegade take-no-prisoners bad ass … guy that writes about sports. How very brave of you. Devin Hester.

But seriously … Devin Hester?

CONTINUE READING THIS POST –>