Rick Majerus bares it all

January 18th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanR

You know, when St. Louis scored an embarrassing 20 points in a loss to George Washington last week, I felt sorry for Rick Majerus. Why, he could be at Iowa instead this year, feasting on burritos to his heart’s content. Instead, yeah: his team scored 20 points in a game. But you know, he’s always seemed like a jolly old feller, so I’m sure he’s doing OK. And as a recent Sports Illustrated article has taught us, (via Larry Brown Sports) he sure is a jolly guy, especially when he’s naked.

Another player remembers Majerus calling him up to his hotel room on various occasions, and “he’d answer the door in his towel and I’d come in and the towel would fall off and it was like nothing had happened. He’d just be standing there buck naked. One year he had this lower-back injury, and he would have the trainer massage it with the ultrasound. But instead of just lowering his pants a little bit, Majerus would pull his pants down to his ankles and sit in a chair and coach us. Sometimes he’d be like, ‘Guys, bring it in, take a knee.’ We’d come in, and we’re just like, No way this is happening.”
…
Majerus kept telling [former Utah player Michael] Doleac that he needed to keep six inches between himself and his opponent in the post. When Doleac was caught shortly after leaning on his man, the coach erupted. “‘Jesus ****in Christ, Doleac! When a guy catches the ball in the post, you gap him six inches!’” Doleac recalls Majerus yelling. “Then he turns to the guys sitting on the baseline and says, ‘Six f***** inches,’ and he says, ‘the size of the average white d***!’ and pulls it out.”

This sort of reminds me of that scene in Borat where him and Azamat are fighting naked and sticking their nether regions in each other’s faces. Sexy time! It also reminds me of just about every Will Ferrell bit. Because if Will Ferrell’s taught us anything, it’s that recycling the “hey, look at my weird naked body!” shitck is comedy gold. Unless you do it all the time like Will Ferrell. Then it just gets annoying.

The recovery of a classic

November 6th, 2006 | Posted by PostmanE

Well, college basketball season is starting again, which means not only will there be consistently entertaining TV on Mondays again (sorry, Studio 60), but that all of the entertaining personalities that opine on the game will be back in full form.

To be honest, I’m convinced college basketball has the best stable of announcers and analysts of any major sport. Vitale is, at times, an annoyance, but his spirit is universal, and Raftery’s consistent genius more than makes up for whatever slight ticks you might dislike. (Think: A meeting at the summit!!!) Even the worst, Rick Majerus, makes up for his incoherence with an overall endearing nature and the pertinent sense that the man has forgotten more about college basketball than you’ll ever know. The problem is just that he isn’t very good at talking about it.

Exhibit A: the above clip. After I saw it last winter - and told about 80 friends but could never find video - I knew Majerus would live in on my heart forever. Steve Lavin, too.

Now, they’re almost back. What better way to ring in the new year?