Oh …

April 24th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

So that explains it.

Nothing to add. When the Onion nails it, all you can do is step back and admire.

NBA refs a bit sensitive about that whole gambling thing

March 31st, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

Referees will tolerate a lot from coaches and players. Some refs are even nice enough to engage in game-long conversations with the subjects of their calls, which builds trust, or something. I can’t remember. I was drunk during that step in rehab.

Something refs will not tolerate, however, is screaming from the first row of an NBA game, not unless the screamer is Jack Nicholson or Spike Lee or maybe Eva Longoria. They especially won’t tolerate Tim Donaghy jokes, which, for refs, are probably about as funny as Hitler jokes are to a German. Warning: Awful punctuation ahead:

Me(intoxicated): MAKE SURE THE GAMES OVER 218 points. THE OVER. THE OVER. THE OVER.

referee(with no hesitation): THATS NOT FUNNY!THATS NOT FUNNY!YOUR OUTTA HERE!!

Next, he repeatedly blows his whistle and signals for a red suited security guard to eject me from the game! then the nba lead security questions me in the tunnel for 10 minutes and writes a report for league officials to investigate. he then takes my tickets and orders 10 red suited security guards to throw me out of the arena immediately.

Well, yeah buddy. What did you think was going to happen? The ref was going to crack a smile?

That ish is too hot right now, son. You don’t bring that into the stadium. That’s like waltzing into Bear Stearns’ office and screaming something oh-so-hilarious about their $2 stock price. Funny to rest of us? Of course. Funny to the brunt of the joke? Unlikely.

{HT: NBA ‘House}

Case of the Mondays: Tyrus Thomas and David Wesley - A juxtoposition in two Youtube videos

March 5th, 2007 | Posted by PostmanE

With college basketball heating up, it’s easy to overlook some of the more dreary months of the NBA season. The Mavs are running away with things, the Suns are close on their heels, the East is still pretty bad, and on and on. But we’re going to take this moment to take a look at the best and worst of the NBA this past weekend. First, Tyrus Thomas:

Yeah. Wow. Now, David Wesley.

Yeah. Wow.

Anyway, we’ll get to more pressing issues later, but I think that pretty much sums things up.