Weekend Fun: Exercise balls are incredibly amusing

June 8th, 2007 | Posted by PostmanE

I never really found the humor involved in exercise balls … perhaps that’s because I’ve never thrown one violently at an eight-year-old kid, or crashed into my buddy carrying one at full speed. Hey, you live, you learn.

The next two videos show us just that. The first is from the prodigious genius at With Leather, and it’s a doozy.

We found the below complement a couple of days ago but never got around to posting it. Whether it’s as funny as a young child being decimated by rubber is really a matter of personal opinion — but it’s funny any way you cut it.

God bless the heroes out there, those tired souls who watched so much Jackass as kids they have the daily urge to hurt themselves for others’ amusement. They are truly the friend of the internet scourer.

Apologies for the light posting today; R and I had a rather sad funeral (Col. Jessup: Is there any other kind?) to attend, so we let the site be for a bit. Back tomorrow with plenty of NBA Finals thoughts. Hopefully LeBron can get it going, or we might have to take the hyperbole down a notch. See you then.

UPDATE: With Leather also had that second video earlier this week, too, which makes me feel all embarrassed and ashamed. Our discoveries are redundant! Anyway, yeah, credit over there for that one.

Also, if Paulie shoots Tony, I won’t know what to do. That’s all.

LeBron’s new commercial, complete with soul licks

June 6th, 2007 | Posted by PostmanE

As difficult as it has become to argue against LeBron’s merits on the court, it’s even harder to argue against his marketing aura. Everything seems to work for the guy. Crazy split-personality fantasy? No problem. Deification? Not a big deal. Kung-Fu odyssey-maker? Works for me.

The latest commercial — set to be premiered later this evening, or so I hear — is above for your enjoyment. It’s simple enough, but sort of weirdly moving too. Incongruous, but moving. Who’s ready for the Finals?

Case of the Mondays: LeBron saved the playoffs

June 4th, 2007 | Posted by PostmanE

OK, so Saturday’s effort will never be the one people remember. That will always be Thursday’s legendary performance, the numbers (29 of the last 30! The last 25!) ringing out in playoff tapes and marketing visions for years to come. But Saturday cemented the best thing LeBron has done for us so far in his career: salvaging these lackluster 2007 Playoffs.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I dislike the Spurs, or lack an appreciation for their methodical style of play. It’s just that the NBA as a whole needs something different. It needed the Suns to run and pass their way to an NBA Championship; it needed something to follow up on the Warriors’ dismantling of the Mavericks; it needed an Eastern team with any sort of redeemable aesthetic qualities, our Bulls notwithstanding.

The Cavaliers are largely boring and unimaginative, but LeBron changes all of that. On Thursday, he changed the way we watch the playoffs by turning potential into action. His brilliance is no longer a threat; it is a very real possibility, one that must be bargained for every time he is on television.

The Spurs will likely still win the title, and that’s fine. They deserve it. But LeBron has made the Finals far more worthy of our attention than the Pistons could have. That’s his greatest accomplishment yet.

(Well, besides Thursday’s game. That’s probably greater.)

MLB: I don’t get what it is. Something about the Cubs’ uniforms — or maybe the chemicals used to curate the Wrigley ivy — causes mass hysteria and uncontrollable anger … or at least insanity.

One example among many was Dusty Baker’s retarded claim last year that “walks clog up the bases.” (I really still can’t get over that, by the way. I mean, are you freaking kidding me?) The latest installment came this week, when the Cubs proceeded to brawl in the dugout, lose their sixth game in a row and ninth out of their last ten, and then have their manager get suspended for getting too frisky with the umpires. What’s next? I’m not even going to offer up a sarcastic example here. I’m genuinely curious. What the hell could go wrong next?

Knocked Up: Not to ruin anything for those of you who waited out the inevitable first-weekend madness, but this movie is incredible. It’s no less funny than the 40 Year Old Virgin — perhaps the best comedy of the past five years — but with a bit more heart, just a little bit, and a realistic picture of what it’s like to live in a relationship in postmodern America. Oh, and readers here, presuming you’re sports fans, will love the fantasy baseball bit. That’s all I’ll say for now.

Weekend Fun: Viral marketing rocks

June 1st, 2007 | Posted by PostmanE

Not a whole lot left to say about this weekend. It’s late in the news cycle, it’s a Friday evening, and everyone is just waiting for LeBron to twist the knife tomorrow (see below for last night’s aftermath) … so I’m going to take us in a decidedly funnier direction.

The above is a clip from a movie we should probably all go see, as it was made by Judd Apatow and, as a rule, everything he does is hilarious. It’s true. It’s right there in the Bible.*

Thanks to the wonders of movie studios trying to “appeal to those rap-loving youngsters,” here’s a bit of footage from the film I’m about to see in, like, a half an hour. PostmanR will be there; it’s officially a party. Happy weekend, everyone.

*Most likely not true.

Of Playoffs and motorcycle movies: a Pistons convo with Matt Watson

May 25th, 2007 | Posted by PostmanE

After watching the Pistons pull out yet another close game last night, I got the feeling that, besides the close nature of these games, the Pistons were having to work much harder each possession than they did against the Bulls. Like, MUCH harder. So as I was about to write about this novel concept and backhandedly insult the Bulls (and their oh-so-photogenic head coach), I decided to chat up Detroit Bad Boys’ (and FanHouse’s) own Matt Watson on the subject. After all, he would know better than I, and could provide me some expert insight before I got to writing.

Well, a conversation that started about the movie Torque progressed into something probably more interesting than I would have written, so I’ve reproduced it for you here. As I told Matt, this serves at least two purposes: 1. Preventing me from having to actually write anything, and 2. Granting Postmen space to someone who actually knows something about anything. (This is rare, so enjoy it.)

Anyway, here’s the convo. If the spacing is screwy, it’s because changing it would completely ruin the prevailing ethic behind this idea, which was laziness.

Matthew: so, i’m watching this ice cube biker movie that came on after the pistons game … it’s oddly entertaining

PostmanE: that’s triple x the sequel or something like that, right?

Matthew: no, it’s worse than that

PostmanE: oh god
“from the producers of ‘fast and the furious’ and ‘xxx’”
so you know it’s good!

Matthew: the only saving grace is that the female lead is hot

PostmanE: very nice
i was actually getting ready to write about this for the postmen, so i might as well bounce it off you — is it just me, or do the pistons look like they’re playing harder this series?
i mean that as a credit to the pistons
essentially, they were so much better than the bulls that they cruised a majority of the time in that series and still won handily

Matthew: well, yes and no. they’re still up and down from quarter to quarter. i don’t know if that’s them not playing hard or a credit to the cavs defense, though
cleveland does match up well with chauncey, though. chauncey is used to be so much more stronger than the opposing point guard, and while he could probably win an arm wrestling match with larry hughes, hughes has a lot of length to contend with

PostmanE: yeah, i think the cavs are much better equipped to guard them than the bulls were, especially on the perimeter
and the bulls, minus lebron, could probably get shots easier
but just watching the flow of this series compared to bulls-pistons, i get the feeling that the pistons are being forced to play a bit more urgently, and not just because both games have been close

Matthew: that i do agree with
it’s a blessing in disguise, since they won’t get fooled into taking a game off

PostmanE: that’s probably true too … they respond to that much better it seems than to a team they can chill a bit against
i was just watching the game tonight and thought, ‘damn — i actually thought the bulls had a chance’
they just got toyed with for a couple games, and then left in the dust

Matthew: i just hope lebron stays passive in cleveland
during that third quarter when detroit was storming back, LBJ took one shot

PostmanE: yeah, i don’t get that at all
is that brown’s fault for pulling him back? because why would lbj temper himself?

Matthew: no idea
honestly, sometimes i think he just doesn’t care
i mean, i doubt that’s actually it, but i don’t know what else it could be

PostmanE: it’s very weird
maybe, in his head, he feels like because he’s so young and detroit is a better team than cleveland all around he has a buffer zone before he really has to dominate and win constantly
like, in five years, he’ll start to get anxious

Matthew: right
what sucks is that he was awesome in the playoffs last year
but has coasted this year

PostmanE: but he’s like any recent 22-year old college grad that says “eh, i can afford to live at home for a year or two, mom will cook for me, and i can play videogames all day”
instead of being eager to start a career

Matthew: that’s a good point
maybe he thinks he accomplished enough last year to wait until he actually has a good team
(btw the way, this movie is getting awesome-er)

After that, we started talking about Torque in much greater, and no less ironic, depth. Let’s just say: that movie is effing RAD. Flying motorcycles and fire and stuff! Can’t beat that, no sir.

Case of the Mondays: Dwight Howard ends games with one handed dunks. He can eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast to the chest. To Dwight Howard!

February 12th, 2007 | Posted by PostmanE

So football’s gone. Football? What’s football? As if we needed another reason to fully cast our glare on basketball, both professional and collegiate, Dwight Howard comes along and does something utterly … well, ridiculous doesn’t even begin to describe it.

You’ve likely seen the highlight a couple times by now (though my roommates hadn’t as of early Sunday); here’s the video anyway.

Ugh. Nasty. Play of the year, not just in the NBA, but across all of sport. It’s that good.

In other NBA news, our Bulls played considerably better than they have on their entire West road trip (they were 1-6 coming into Sunday night’s game) en route to a 116-103 win over the Suns last night. That core of the future - Kirk Heinrich, Ben Gordon, and Luol Deng - scored 29, 27, and 29 respectively. These guys are untouchable in any Gasol trade, if you ask me. Of course, John Paxson doesn’t.

Also, Kobe strong-armed LeBron and Co. last night for 36, but the Cavs came away with the 99-90 win. Oh, and D-Wade buried the Spurs in the 4th quarter. How’s that for leadership, Mr. Cuban? (I totally should have asked Cuban about this whole leadership thing when I had the chance.)

Oh, and Gil? I love you and all, but if you’re going to make ridiculous guarantees, at least get a fifth of the point total you promised. Yeesh.

A great deal of college basketball was played over the weekend as well, lest we forget. Let’s see if I can sum this up as concisely as possible: Duke sucks, Kentucky’s not enough, IU-Illinois is officially a rivalry, and Georgia Tech stays alive. That was actually kinda easy.

Oh, and thanks to those of you who either e-mailed or left a comment (I’m nodding in your direction, brosallman) about my LSAT Saturday morning. I feel pretty good about it. And after all, the test is mostly just logical reasoning, and I learned from the best:

I ain’t been rhymin like Common since
When your sense got that much in common
And you been hustlin since
Your inception
Fuck perception
Go with what makes sense

See? It’s easy!

Case of the Mondays: Grossman is a…dud?

November 27th, 2006 | Posted by PostmanR

National Football League:

ESPN’s No. 1 dud this week? None other than Rex Grossman. He is beginning to act as if fumbles and interceptions are a GOOD thing for the Bears. Brady wasn’t much better. But it was enough.

Ben Roethlisberger got sacked nine times yesterday. What has become of the Steelers?

Michael Vick flicked off some fans after the Falcons loss to the Saints. Peep some discussion about that here.

Collegiate Football and the Bowl Championship Series:

It appears as if the University of Southern California will combat against THE Ohio State University for BCS and college football supremacy. I still would rather see OSU-Michigan one more time, because I’m not wholly convinced USC is better than Michigan.

HOWEVA, I would almost enjoy seeing USC beat Ohio State and thus further confounding the masses!

Oh, and Notre Dame is overrated.

The Assoication:

This LeBron video matriculated all over the Web yesterday. So, we won’t reproduce it here. Instead, watch a sweet mix video of his highlights set to Busta Ryhmes! (Watch for the NSFW lyrics. Although, if you are listening to rap music loud in your office - unless you work at The Source - you deserve to be fired.)

Morning How’s: Amare’s back; A King James Dynasty; With Leather rocks us to the core

November 2nd, 2006 | Posted by PostmanE

How great is the NBA?

Game after game last night. And the Sportscenter highlights. Oh, the Sportscenter highlights. Dare I say that basketball highlights are the … highlight of Sportscenter.

But seriously, is there a better time for highlights than right now? Sure, baseball’s OK, but Baseball Tonight can more than do the trick, if you can survive Krukie and Steve Phillips. But basketball thrives in its highlights, taking the most engaging parts of an already entertaining game and boiling them down even further. It’s like degenerative density, where the core of a star is already dense, but keeps getting more and more so, until it reaches perfect density. How do I know that? I’ve been studying star formations - for a class, jeez - for the past 24 hours. So don’t step to me on astrological knowledge, ya heard?

How encouraging was Amare Stoudamire’s game last night?

He still wasn’t his old self - and the jury is out on whether he will ever be again - but he certainly inched closer last night, scoring 15 points in 24 minutes. He got open looks in the post, rebounded well, even threw down a few body-contorting dunks that served as a reminder of the sheer velocity he used to produce in the air.

For sheer velocity, press play.

How many titles will Lebron James win?

That’s right. The question isn’t if, but when and how many. SI.com’s Marty Burns poses it in a thoughtful piece this morning, which also asks basketball fans to re-evaluate the term “dynasty,” because the likelihood of a Bulls-esque unit emerging in the league seems to be growing less and less likely each year. As far as LeBron-Jordan comparisons, well, let’s just say LBJ has a pretty comparable start. Oh, and he’s, like, barely able to drink.

How funny is With Leather?

Constantly chuckle-inducing. Especially the latest post. No f*cking thank you, either.

Le-Brizzle is cooler than life

November 1st, 2006 | Posted by PostmanR

Some Interweb scribes such as Dan Shanoff and also this uber-popular blog without access, favor, or discretion have chimed in on Nike sponsoring the entire 6 p.m. SportsCenter to market the new LeBron James sneakers this evening. Turn to either one of them for some solid analysis on the situation including the whole Jeremy Schaap interview that’s been running on SC.

(Which, by the way, probably totally peeved off Schaap. “I have to do what? Interview a bunch of different LeBrons? I’m confused. Isn’t Kenny Mayne available?”)

I can get down with Nike’s move here as per the reasons described by Dr. Lawyer IndianChief:

LeBron James is not a businessman — “he’s a business, man.” From Sprite to Nike to Bubble Yum, ‘Bron’s face is ubiquitous. Apart from the mere marketing blitz, and in addition to establishing himself as a brand name a la Jordan, LBJames is positioning himself to become a one-man empire. MJ had traditional Joe Namath/Wilt Chamberlain aspirations of athlete coolness. Shaq went the entertainment route, going for juvenile Denzel-meets-Biggie status. Lebron, in an unprecedented manner, wants to be Donald Trump: surrounding himself with a personal business team (AKRON FAMILY), pioneeringly rejecting a maximum contract extension in favor for waiting for a new NBA Labor deal (so he can cash out even bigger), and publicly proclaiming his hopes to become the world’s first billionaire athlete.

I can’t floss with FreeDarko. Their scribing is at another level.

(Also, Shanoff types about Borat, so you should read it. Veery nice!)

Gee, this sure sounds good

July 26th, 2006 | Posted by PostmanR

So yeah, we know that at one point, USA Basketball was king. I’m talking about 1992 and the Dream Team, specifically. Jordan, Bird and Magic clowning other countries, flat out dominating them in every aspect of the game.

Those days are over. Recent World Championship and Olympic performances by the USA have proven that much.

But as the World Championships are quickly approaching next month in Japan, we’re being led to believe that this squad is going to be different from their recent predecessors.

They’re figuring out how to adjust to the international game, with its pressure defense, team-first-make-the-extra-pass mentality and somewhat quirky rules. This isn’t the NBA. D. Wade’s isolation isn’t going to work here.

And when you read a quote such as this, you begin to think these guys are getting the picture.

“It’s been great to see some of the leading scorers like LeBron James, Gilbert Arenas and Dwyane Wade making the extra pass,” (Elton) Brand said.

From all written accounts, it appears as if these guys are recognizing how to succeed internationally. Having Mike Krzyzewski as coach helps. Having great, tough point guards like Kirk Hinrich and Chris Paul who don’t operate around a score first mentality (like their predecessor A.I.) helps as well.

But until I see this supposed style of play with my own eyes, I can’t help but be skeptical.

(And if you needed proof the LeBron James is indeed 21, ESPN has obtained his birth certificate. Happy reading!)