With racist apparel, Cubs fans actually are obnoxious

April 18th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

So Marty Brennaman goes all scorched Earth on Cubs fans, and I go all scorched Earth on Marty Brennaman. I thought it was just Brennaman that deserved it, but today the Sun-Times’ Gordon Wittenmeyer, who does a great job covering the Cubs, brings up something that my friends and I have been too-quietly discussing the whole season: racist “Japanese” merchandise at Wrigley Field.

The image of the drunken Cubs lout is one thing — adding a level of intolerance and ignorance to that image is another. And that’s what a small minority — but still a sizable portion — of Cubs fans have become this season. In “honor” of Kosuke Fukudome, they wear faux Japanese hachimaki and the above-linked t-shirts, which say “Horry Kow!” and picture a slant-eyed Cub with huge Harry Caray frames. Vendors walk around everywhere outside the stadium with the shirts and headbands, but it’s hard to just blame the vendors: clearly, there’s a market here. A very racist, stupid market.

If you needed any more convincing that the merchandise is stupid, if me calling you racist in the bleachers isn’t enough, then take it from Kosuke Fukudome:

”I don’t know what the creator of the shirt meant this to be, but they should make it right,” Fukudome said through his interpreter after being shown one of the shirts Thursday. ”Maybe the creator created it because he thought it was funny, or maybe he made it to condescend the race. I don’t know.”

See? Even the player you meant to honor thinks you’re a dumbass cracker. So take that shirt and headband off, burn them, and, if you want to pay homage to the Cubs’ most versatile new player, buy his jersey instead. Until then, Cubs fans will have no reason to complain about their image as drunken buffoons. They’ll deserve it, and more.

Kosuke Fukudome is the god of my heart

March 31st, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

With the possible exception that he made me mad I decided to go in to work today (hey, I have tickets Sunday, no big deal right?) Kosuke Fukudome is the greatest human being on the planet in the history of the world and things.

Of course, the Cubs still lost. Of course. Cubs fan/friend/commenter Jason is telling me that Piniella made the wrong move not to bring Kerry Wood in as the actual closer — let’s hope Lou doesn’t make a habit of indecisiveness this year. That got really old really fast last year, and I don’t think it made the team any better. Worse, probably.

Still, this is really all I needed as confirmation: Kosuke Fukudome authentic, here I come.

{Vid HT: AA}

A Heckler’s Prospectus for us all

February 5th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanR

Yesterday Boom Tho! himself, Rod Benson, let us know we usually suck at heckling. And I think by and large in the professional leagues, we really do. (College basketball fans do not suck at heckling. In fact, it’s oftentimes over the line in its brutality. That doesn’t make it any less fun, though.) Fans at baseball stadiums are usually the worst, eliciting “You suck!” and “I could have made that throw!” from the upper deck. Not only are these unoriginal, Nomar Garciaparra can’t hear you.

Anyways, if you’re looking to spice up your heckling game and personalize the taunts and cheers that those crazy college kids directed at J.J. Redick for so many years, Heckler’s Prospectus is your destination.  A sampling from the Angels entry:

Anderson, Garrett – Officially, Garrett Anderson is somewhere between 54 and 73 years old. Remind him of the cold, grim reality that the Hand of Death will soon be fist-bumping Garrett’s soul by wearing an authentic Grim Reaper outfit under your replica Anderson jersey. If security won’t let you bring in a scythe, a large foam finger will have to do.

Aybar, Erick – Dude always looks stoned. Use it.

The Cubs entry is forthcoming I assume; I hope there’s a reference to Fukudome’s last name pronunciation. Wait, that wouldn’t be original at all. See: this heckling thing is hard.

{Via Scooped.}