K.C. Johnson really hates Joakim Noah

June 27th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

Hey, last night was fun. The Bulls drafted in a position they didn’t deserve and landed a player they didn’t really earn, and the prospects are bright. It was, generally, a fantastic evening to be a basketball fan, unless your name is Darrell Arthur.

But where most people saw the beginning of a bright Chicago Bulls future, Chicago Tribune reporter K.C. Johnson saw the perfect opportunity for a not-so-subtle dig at Joakim Noah:

Derrick Rose likes to attract attention as much as he likes committing turnovers, so a seersucker suit and bow tie definitely weren’t part of his equation Thursday night.

Nevertheless, Rose is all dressed up with somewhere to go after the Bulls used the No. 1 pick in the NBA draft on the speedy, sturdy point guard who grew up in the Englewood neighborhood on the city’s Southwest Side.

Unlike Joakim Noah’s brash and outlandish outfit when he was the team’s first-round pick last year, Rose blended in with a classic gray suit, blue shirt and tie. However, as the Bulls’ first No. 1 overall pick since Elton Brand in 1999, Rose won’t be blending in much anymore.

See, Derrick Rose is going to be good, because he’s really quiet, and Joakim Noah is an evil non-veteran bad seed because he … wore seersucker. And that bow tie. Everyone knows people that wear bow ties are douches.

In related news, it’s Friday, which means part two of THE MOST IMPORTANT SERIES OF OUR TIME. I think the White Sox are winning already.

Yannick Noah on Joakim: Big freaking deal

May 27th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanR

Ah, the father-son relationship. Dad teaches son right from wrong, how to throw a ball, how to tie his shoe, so on and so forth. And when the son gets caught for something as trivial as drinking a beer on the sidewalk at a legal age, they defend him.

“I don’t understand all that fuss for just drinking a beer on the street,” Yannick Noah said Tuesday at the French Open.

Yannick Noah won the French Open in 1983. He created a sensation a few years before when he told a magazine writer he smoked marijuana.

While I agree with Yannick’s sentiment here, when you throw the marijuana charge into the ring as well, it sort of ramps it up a notch. Although, this is coming from a father that’s admitted to smoking weed somewhat recently. Basically what I’m saying here is this: Yannick Noah is like Amy Poehler’s character in Mean Girls and Joakim Noah is Regina George.

“I just want you to know, if you ever need anything, don’t be shy, OK? There are no rules in the Noah household. I’m not a like a regular dad, I’m a cool dad. Now hit that bowl and pass it my way, huh guy?”

Johnny “Red’ Kerr belts out in song

March 19th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanR

A few things here:

1) All and all a pretty good preformance.

2) Joakim Noah steps in to do something here. What that is, I’m not exactly sure. (Although, Noah is quite the singer himself. Watch for the Skiles and Wallace cameos!)

3) The collection of Bulls announcers might be the goofiest mismatch of all-time. And I love that.

4) Bonus related anecdote from the time I was in Dublin: Amongst all the pubs featuring live Irish music, there were three dudes with a boom box blasting the instrumental “Welcome to Atlanta” as they rapped over it: “Welcome to Dublin where to players play.” The juxtaposition of authentic regional music vs. faux white rapping was rather priceless.

{Via Odenized.}

Big Ben’s headband makes triumphant return

October 2nd, 2007 | Posted by PostmanR

Scott Skiles is a bit of a disciplinarian. He’s hard-nosed, man. Just when you thought the NBA was full of highly-payed lazy players who value the dunk over defense, along came Skiles to set your ass straight. The guy wouldn’t even let Ben Wallace wear his headband last year. It caused a bit of a ruckus. But no longer, friends.

“We still have a no-headband rule,” coach Scott Skiles said. “I just left it up to the guys who have been here if they wanted to make an exception for Ben. I was fine with it. They were fine with it.”

That a piece of fabric could elicit questions and expend brainpower felt odd on the eve of a season in which the Bulls are expected to challenge for the Eastern Conference title.

But the fact that, 11 months removed from Wallace’s insubordinate act of wearing a headband during a game, everybody encircled for a group hug underscored the harmony that defined the end of last season and should continue in the franchise’s 42nd season.

“I think it takes a coach who is willing to adapt a little bit and listen to his players, understanding the big picture is winning,” general manager John Paxson said. “Scott’s one of the best coaches in the league. There’s no doubt in my mind. And he’s able to adapt. It’s really a non-story. But the fact that Scott has looked outside maybe a personal belief, there’s nothing wrong with that.”

No word on whether or not Skiles is going to continue to let Joakim Noah wear socks with sandals, but I’d assume that has been outlawed as well. Remember kids: Scott Skiles is HARDCORE.

People really, really don’t like Joakim Noah

March 28th, 2007 | Posted by PostmanE

Spurred on by Pat Forde’s story today, we had a look at some of the Facebook groups that have sprouted thanks to one collective trait: a seething hate for Joakim Noah. Some examples:

• Joakim Noah Looks Like Chewbacca
• I wanna set Joakim Noah’s hair on fire
• Joakim Noah Is The Ugliest Thing I’ve Ever Seen
• Joakim Noah=Sloth from Goonies
• Joakim Noah looks like a stressed out single mom!
• Joakim Noah is Unnecessarily Ugly
• Joakim Noah spends hours a day in front of the mirror fixing his ponytail
• Joakim Noah looks an awful lot like my sister
• Breathe if you hate Joakim Noah

It goes on like this for 155 groups! I knew people hated the guy - and I knew Noah understood he had “haters” - but man, nothing can describe the embarrassment Noah faces every time he wants to update his interests!