A Heckler’s Prospectus for us all

February 5th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanR

Yesterday Boom Tho! himself, Rod Benson, let us know we usually suck at heckling. And I think by and large in the professional leagues, we really do. (College basketball fans do not suck at heckling. In fact, it’s oftentimes over the line in its brutality. That doesn’t make it any less fun, though.) Fans at baseball stadiums are usually the worst, eliciting “You suck!” and “I could have made that throw!” from the upper deck. Not only are these unoriginal, Nomar Garciaparra can’t hear you.

Anyways, if you’re looking to spice up your heckling game and personalize the taunts and cheers that those crazy college kids directed at J.J. Redick for so many years, Heckler’s Prospectus is your destination.  A sampling from the Angels entry:

Anderson, Garrett – Officially, Garrett Anderson is somewhere between 54 and 73 years old. Remind him of the cold, grim reality that the Hand of Death will soon be fist-bumping Garrett’s soul by wearing an authentic Grim Reaper outfit under your replica Anderson jersey. If security won’t let you bring in a scythe, a large foam finger will have to do.

Aybar, Erick – Dude always looks stoned. Use it.

The Cubs entry is forthcoming I assume; I hope there’s a reference to Fukudome’s last name pronunciation. Wait, that wouldn’t be original at all. See: this heckling thing is hard.

{Via Scooped.}

A tribute to a fallen hero

January 10th, 2007 | Posted by PostmanR

This above picture of J.J. Redick, presumably located in a hallway inside Cave Spring High School, is here for your perusal.

I post this not because I am at a loss for what to post and was randomly searching the Tubes, but to show you how cute Redick looks in a bowtie.

NBA Draft 2006 - Feel the rush

June 27th, 2006 | Posted by PostmanE

The NBA Draft. It’s usually - usually - not the greatest test of how your team does the next year. But this year’s different, right? No high school players, right?

Well, that might actually weaken this draft, believe it or not. NBADraft.net has that European guy, Bargnani, going 1st overall and Tyrus Thomas going 2nd to the Bulls (C’mon Bulls). Um, remember Greg Oden? Yeah, he’d definitely get drafted over both of those guys.

Either way, I’m still really excited for this thing, moreso than in recent years, and I probably shouldn’t be, given the shallow talent pool.

Without sounding too much like some sort of circus clown, let me just say - this draft could get craaaazy! Will the Bulls get a guy to push them over the hump, or just another young player on a too-young roster? Will the Raptors completely eff up this draft, as with most things concerning their franchise? Is Bargnani the new Dirk or the new Darko? Will J.J. Redick get drafted in the top 10, free to urinate on NBA groupies for years to come? Does Adam Morrison have his seizure problems under control?

Here’s a couple more draft boards to check out. NBA Draft 2006. Can you feel it?

(Apparently, there’s already a 2007 NBA Mock Draft. Will Marco Killingsworth at least be in that one?)

(Quick little amusing update. Apparently, some crazy shit is going down in Andy Katz and Chad Ford’s world over on ESPN. Rudy Gay is pictured. It just read as such: As Wednesday’s draft hurtles toward the NBA planet, the latest rumors are out of this world. Raptors fans, pay attention. If you’re a Raptors fan, and you weren’t already paying attention, you’re not a Raptors fan. Also, if your team drafts Rudy Gay, you should stop being a Raptors fan. Also - I would bet my apartment this means absolutely nothing. But we’ll see.)

Just as we get ready to watch soccer…

June 13th, 2006 | Posted by PostmanE

J.J. Redick decides to go out and get himself a DUI.

Just saw this on Deadspin. Tremendous stuff.

There are plenty of J.J.-haters out there (though I’m not really one of them, I can sympathize) and this will definitely put some fuel in old F-You-J.J.-fire.

I do have to say I’m a big fan of the Polo shirt. If you’re going to get booked, there’s no classier way to do it. Also, points for the half-popped collar. Niiiiice.

Here’s the original story. So, yeah, have fun with that.

(Update: So apparently it’s a DWI. Same thing, mostly.)