A Heckler’s Prospectus for us all

February 5th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanR

Yesterday Boom Tho! himself, Rod Benson, let us know we usually suck at heckling. And I think by and large in the professional leagues, we really do. (College basketball fans do not suck at heckling. In fact, it’s oftentimes over the line in its brutality. That doesn’t make it any less fun, though.) Fans at baseball stadiums are usually the worst, eliciting “You suck!” and “I could have made that throw!” from the upper deck. Not only are these unoriginal, Nomar Garciaparra can’t hear you.

Anyways, if you’re looking to spice up your heckling game and personalize the taunts and cheers that those crazy college kids directed at J.J. Redick for so many years, Heckler’s Prospectus is your destination.  A sampling from the Angels entry:

Anderson, Garrett – Officially, Garrett Anderson is somewhere between 54 and 73 years old. Remind him of the cold, grim reality that the Hand of Death will soon be fist-bumping Garrett’s soul by wearing an authentic Grim Reaper outfit under your replica Anderson jersey. If security won’t let you bring in a scythe, a large foam finger will have to do.

Aybar, Erick – Dude always looks stoned. Use it.

The Cubs entry is forthcoming I assume; I hope there’s a reference to Fukudome’s last name pronunciation. Wait, that wouldn’t be original at all. See: this heckling thing is hard.

{Via Scooped.}