Flip Saunders canned; What say you Bulls?

June 3rd, 2008 | Posted by PostmanR

So, Flip Saunders just got peaced by the Pistons. And John Paxson is still interviewing candidates. But yet, Doug Collins is supposedly still going to be the new coach of the Chicago Bulls. I would suggest to John Paxson that he might want to interview Flip Saunders for a few reasons:

1) He took an aging Pistons team to the Conference Finals three years in a row.

2) He developed their bench well this year.

3) He’s not Doug Collins. That is to say: he doesn’t run the world’s slowest offense on the eve of drafting Derrick Rose.

Discuss amongst yourselves or in the interworkings of your own brain.

Phew: Doug Collins is still the Bulls’ coach

June 2nd, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

Hey, remember when the Bulls were going to hire Doug Collins? Not so fast: over the weekend, the Bulls tried to lie and say they maybe weren’t going to hire Collins, even though everyone knew differently anyway:

Like an auto race official worried about a mishap up the track, Bulls officials were waving a figurative caution flag Friday, warning media to slow down on anointing Doug Collins as the team’s next coach. Still, sources insist the only way Collins will not be on the Bulls’ bench next season is if he gets cold feet and takes a pass on what is his job for the taking.

Nothing quite like reportage to douse a story in cold water before it even gets going. Well done, Mssr. Hanley. Of course, today we can rest assured that those sources are correct, and that Doug Collins will, in fact, be bringing his boring half court nonsense back to Chicago. Yay:

The Bulls’ six-week-plus coaching search will end this week, and all signs still point to Doug Collins returning for the most surprising of second chances. But a source said Collins and general manager John Paxson have discussed which assistants would land on Collins’ staff, another indication Collins is nearing a return to the franchise that fired him in 1989 after three successful seasons.

The excitement is palpable. Doug Collins, man. Phew. So good he’ll make you pine for Flip Saunders.

Doug Collins is just as slow as you remember

May 30th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

No, not mentally slow. By all accounts, Dougie Fresh — that nickname’s not good enough, either; I’ll keep working on this — is a pretty brilliant basketball mind with the communicative ability to match. Dougie’s slowness is his coaching style, his pace, which John Hollinger calls out today. For fans of uptempo basketball, this is a bad sign:

Collins might be the most extreme slow-pace coach in the past quarter century. I’m amazed nobody has brought this up yet — the guy makes Jeff Van Gundy look like Paul Westhead. His Bulls were the league’s slowest-paced team in 1986-87 and 1987-88, even with Michael Jordan at the peak of his athleticism. Scottie Pippen became a starter in 1988-89, yet Collins had the Bulls playing at the third-slowest pace in the NBA. His Pistons, with a young Grant Hill, were the league’s second-slowest team in both seasons Collins coached in Detroit. And his Wizards were 26th and 27th out of 29 teams in his two years at the helm in Washington.

Exciting! If the Bulls take Derrick Rose, and unless Joey Dorsey’s peerless reportage proves true, they will, the Bulls absolutely should not be slowing down the pace. They should be running at every possible opportunity: Rose utilizing his high dribble stride to get into space; Ben Gordon spotting up in the corner; Tyrus Thomas filling free throw-line extended; Joakim Noah sprinting to the block to collect the mess. Wow. Dear God that sounds awesome. Excuse me for a minute.

/wipes sweat off brow, collects self

Anyway. If the Bulls take Rose, the slowest coach in the past 20 years is not what they need. They need Mike D’Antoni. D’oh.

Whoa: Doug Collins

May 29th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

Getting back to more trivial concerns, um … it looks like the Bulls hired a new head coach. His name is Doug Collins. Really. That Doug Collins:

Sources confirmed the former Bulls coach is expected to become the new Bulls coach. Collins coached the Bulls from 1986-89 and, as recently as two weeks ago, talked about not wanting to leave his TNT broadcasting job and the family life it afforded him. But Collins’ extremely close relationship with Paxson, friendship with team Chairman Jerry Reinsdorf (who fired Collins) and the Bulls winning the draft lottery have changed his mind, sources said.

Paxson, according to sources, first contacted Collins about the job shortly after firing Boylan. At that time, Collins gave indications he didn’t want to return to coaching.

Seriously, you win a lottery, and everyone comes crawling back. How you like us now, Dougie? Oh, so now that we’re chock full of talent, you want back in? I see how it is.

I read something about Collins “resonating passionately with fans,” and though that may be true, this fan is too young to remember him. I remember him for taking the Bulls to the precipice, for nurturing Michael Jordan, for being fired pre-Phil Jackson, and for being a good basketball broadcaster with bleach-blonde hair. Is that resonating? Meh.

At least the Wikipedia demons are excited:

Smug Collins? Really? That’s the best you got?