Carlos Delfino lives

March 7th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

Thanks to commenter GK (who, wouldn’t you know it, is R’s roommate) I had the privilege of attending the Bulls-Cavs game at the United Center last night. All in all, it was a great night. The Bulls won. Lebron was amazing. It only took us like 15 minutes to find a cab home. I saw a friend from high school I haven’t seen in forever. And none of you care. Anyway, it was fun. Fun night.

But the highlight was the above photo. The barriers to this photo existing are numerous: The fact that Carlos Delfino is a fringe-ish NBA player, and thus is not the type of player with readily available jerseys; the fact that the game was a Bulls-Cavs one in Chicago; the idea that someone would actually want to sport a Carlos Delfino jersey; the fact that there are probably seven players on Detroit whose jersey I’d rather have, and so forth. Despite all that, there he was, right in front of me in line for souvenirs. I still have no idea what to make of this.

LeBron’s new commercial, complete with soul licks

June 6th, 2007 | Posted by PostmanE

As difficult as it has become to argue against LeBron’s merits on the court, it’s even harder to argue against his marketing aura. Everything seems to work for the guy. Crazy split-personality fantasy? No problem. Deification? Not a big deal. Kung-Fu odyssey-maker? Works for me.

The latest commercial — set to be premiered later this evening, or so I hear — is above for your enjoyment. It’s simple enough, but sort of weirdly moving too. Incongruous, but moving. Who’s ready for the Finals?

Case of the Mondays: LeBron saved the playoffs

June 4th, 2007 | Posted by PostmanE

OK, so Saturday’s effort will never be the one people remember. That will always be Thursday’s legendary performance, the numbers (29 of the last 30! The last 25!) ringing out in playoff tapes and marketing visions for years to come. But Saturday cemented the best thing LeBron has done for us so far in his career: salvaging these lackluster 2007 Playoffs.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I dislike the Spurs, or lack an appreciation for their methodical style of play. It’s just that the NBA as a whole needs something different. It needed the Suns to run and pass their way to an NBA Championship; it needed something to follow up on the Warriors’ dismantling of the Mavericks; it needed an Eastern team with any sort of redeemable aesthetic qualities, our Bulls notwithstanding.

The Cavaliers are largely boring and unimaginative, but LeBron changes all of that. On Thursday, he changed the way we watch the playoffs by turning potential into action. His brilliance is no longer a threat; it is a very real possibility, one that must be bargained for every time he is on television.

The Spurs will likely still win the title, and that’s fine. They deserve it. But LeBron has made the Finals far more worthy of our attention than the Pistons could have. That’s his greatest accomplishment yet.

(Well, besides Thursday’s game. That’s probably greater.)

MLB: I don’t get what it is. Something about the Cubs’ uniforms — or maybe the chemicals used to curate the Wrigley ivy — causes mass hysteria and uncontrollable anger … or at least insanity.

One example among many was Dusty Baker’s retarded claim last year that “walks clog up the bases.” (I really still can’t get over that, by the way. I mean, are you freaking kidding me?) The latest installment came this week, when the Cubs proceeded to brawl in the dugout, lose their sixth game in a row and ninth out of their last ten, and then have their manager get suspended for getting too frisky with the umpires. What’s next? I’m not even going to offer up a sarcastic example here. I’m genuinely curious. What the hell could go wrong next?

Knocked Up: Not to ruin anything for those of you who waited out the inevitable first-weekend madness, but this movie is incredible. It’s no less funny than the 40 Year Old Virgin — perhaps the best comedy of the past five years — but with a bit more heart, just a little bit, and a realistic picture of what it’s like to live in a relationship in postmodern America. Oh, and readers here, presuming you’re sports fans, will love the fantasy baseball bit. That’s all I’ll say for now.

Of Playoffs and motorcycle movies: a Pistons convo with Matt Watson

May 25th, 2007 | Posted by PostmanE

After watching the Pistons pull out yet another close game last night, I got the feeling that, besides the close nature of these games, the Pistons were having to work much harder each possession than they did against the Bulls. Like, MUCH harder. So as I was about to write about this novel concept and backhandedly insult the Bulls (and their oh-so-photogenic head coach), I decided to chat up Detroit Bad Boys’ (and FanHouse’s) own Matt Watson on the subject. After all, he would know better than I, and could provide me some expert insight before I got to writing.

Well, a conversation that started about the movie Torque progressed into something probably more interesting than I would have written, so I’ve reproduced it for you here. As I told Matt, this serves at least two purposes: 1. Preventing me from having to actually write anything, and 2. Granting Postmen space to someone who actually knows something about anything. (This is rare, so enjoy it.)

Anyway, here’s the convo. If the spacing is screwy, it’s because changing it would completely ruin the prevailing ethic behind this idea, which was laziness.

Matthew: so, i’m watching this ice cube biker movie that came on after the pistons game … it’s oddly entertaining

PostmanE: that’s triple x the sequel or something like that, right?

Matthew: no, it’s worse than that

PostmanE: oh god
“from the producers of ‘fast and the furious’ and ‘xxx’”
so you know it’s good!

Matthew: the only saving grace is that the female lead is hot

PostmanE: very nice
i was actually getting ready to write about this for the postmen, so i might as well bounce it off you — is it just me, or do the pistons look like they’re playing harder this series?
i mean that as a credit to the pistons
essentially, they were so much better than the bulls that they cruised a majority of the time in that series and still won handily

Matthew: well, yes and no. they’re still up and down from quarter to quarter. i don’t know if that’s them not playing hard or a credit to the cavs defense, though
cleveland does match up well with chauncey, though. chauncey is used to be so much more stronger than the opposing point guard, and while he could probably win an arm wrestling match with larry hughes, hughes has a lot of length to contend with

PostmanE: yeah, i think the cavs are much better equipped to guard them than the bulls were, especially on the perimeter
and the bulls, minus lebron, could probably get shots easier
but just watching the flow of this series compared to bulls-pistons, i get the feeling that the pistons are being forced to play a bit more urgently, and not just because both games have been close

Matthew: that i do agree with
it’s a blessing in disguise, since they won’t get fooled into taking a game off

PostmanE: that’s probably true too … they respond to that much better it seems than to a team they can chill a bit against
i was just watching the game tonight and thought, ‘damn — i actually thought the bulls had a chance’
they just got toyed with for a couple games, and then left in the dust

Matthew: i just hope lebron stays passive in cleveland
during that third quarter when detroit was storming back, LBJ took one shot

PostmanE: yeah, i don’t get that at all
is that brown’s fault for pulling him back? because why would lbj temper himself?

Matthew: no idea
honestly, sometimes i think he just doesn’t care
i mean, i doubt that’s actually it, but i don’t know what else it could be

PostmanE: it’s very weird
maybe, in his head, he feels like because he’s so young and detroit is a better team than cleveland all around he has a buffer zone before he really has to dominate and win constantly
like, in five years, he’ll start to get anxious

Matthew: right
what sucks is that he was awesome in the playoffs last year
but has coasted this year

PostmanE: but he’s like any recent 22-year old college grad that says “eh, i can afford to live at home for a year or two, mom will cook for me, and i can play videogames all day”
instead of being eager to start a career

Matthew: that’s a good point
maybe he thinks he accomplished enough last year to wait until he actually has a good team
(btw the way, this movie is getting awesome-er)

After that, we started talking about Torque in much greater, and no less ironic, depth. Let’s just say: that movie is effing RAD. Flying motorcycles and fire and stuff! Can’t beat that, no sir.

Weekend Fun: Refocusing on high quality

May 11th, 2007 | Posted by PostmanE

After last night’s debacle — which even prompted a Glass Joe comparison from currently blacklisted FanHouse friend Matt Watson at Detroit Bad Boys — I’ve come to a new and resolute conclusion: I’m not going to lament this loss at all. Sure, I was furious for a little bit last night, but now it’s time to face facts. The Bulls are simply not that good yet. As encouraging as the Miami series was, this Pistons team is the class of the conference, and Chicago simply doesn’t have the horses. They have a good team, a solid team, a team that will probably only get better … but they’re not there yet. And I’m OK with that.

The reason it’ll be easy to get over that is because despite what Bomani Jones tells you, this is an effin’ great playoffs so far. The Warriors-Mavs series is something that any basketball fan should treasure forever, and right now the Suns and Spurs are locked in a Finals-worthy contest. Not only that, but that series is getting overlooked thanks to the continued insanity of the Warriors, who are now getting overlooked thanks to Jazz. Everyone out West is one-upping each other, and it’s made for a conference without a single playoff dud so far. OK, so the East has flopped, but we should have seen that coming. What are we complaining about again?

So that’s why I’m choosing to forget about the Bulls. I’ll watch the game Sunday, and if they win, I’ll watch the next day … but it’s time to change the focus from geographic loyalty back to where the real entertainment lies, and that is not in the Eastern conference.

With that, we’ll see you around this weekend. Since we neglect the sport so much (we don’t even have category on the sidebar there), I’m going to try and learn about hockey and write a post at some point in the near future about what I’ve learned. If it doesn’t show up, that’ll show you how much the topic has enthralled me.

UPDATE: Just noticed I titled this “Case of the Mondays” instead of the appropriate title, Weekend Fun. I’m sure you were shocked at the oversight. We’re back up to speed now, though.

Ben Gordon shows us the way with his rap skills

May 10th, 2007 | Posted by PostmanR

If there’s anyone who can pull the Bulls out of their collective drought so far against the Pistons tonight, it is one Mr. Ben Gordon.

I mean, he’s BG, the Rainmaker!

Please, Bulls. At least make it interesting tonight, OK?

(Via FanHouse.)

Let’s try this again

May 7th, 2007 | Posted by PostmanE

Round two. The second coming. New beginning. If you’re describing the Bulls’ attempt to rebound from their horrible game one loss to the Pistons Saturday, they all work (with apologies to Juelz Santana and Just Blaze).

OK, so the first game was awful. The Bulls were so roundly outplayed that I deleted my DVR’d recording of the game just so I didn’t have to see how things actually happened. Not even a theory about uneven rim tightness can explain the Bulls woes; from everything I’ve heard, the Pistons were just that good. (But that rim thing better not screw us over tonight.)

Even as bad as the first game went, even as it sent shudders down Bulls fans’ spines about how Chicago is headed for another early playoff exit, this series is far from over. Even after throwing up a total albatross, the Bulls have a chance, and thy name is home court advantage. As bleak as it looks, if they can steal one tonight, they’re WAY ahead in the series … and we can all forget Saturday even happened. I can dig that.

So here’s to reclaiming the form that took them over the Heat, with minor adjustments for dealing with a far superior team in the Pistons. Matchup problems be damned — the Bulls can still do this. Let’s try one more time, shall we?

UPDATE: Fuck.

Case of the Mondays: Touch ‘Em All

May 7th, 2007 | Posted by PostmanE

Now that that’s over (I would use a tear emoticon here if that weren’t so emasculating), we can take a look at the weekend that was. I didn’t actually see some of these things thanks to the alcohol and family and friends and really basically just the alochol, but I heard they happened, which means we should talk about them. On we go:

The Bulls got it handed to them: Talk about a different beast. I thought Chicago would have a chance to outpace the Pistons in a manner similar to their demolition of the Heat, and boy was I wrong. I’ll let Matt from Blog a Bull take it the rest of the way here:

It’s tough to believe this Bulls team has a ton of weapons and can survive off nights from some of them. Maybe they can against some squads but not against a team like the Pistons. If Ben Gordon puts in a few more stinkers they’re toast… Nocioni was aggressively awful. In three and a half minutes he had 2 turnovers and 2 missed shots (one was a joke of an attempt that got thrown back into his face by ’sheed), and during that time the Bulls also managed to give up 3 offensive rebounds. Duhon was predictably bad, and the rookies played as such. But while this may just be bias towards the lure of potential, I’d rather see Tyrus and Thabo make rookie mistakes than Noc and Duhon just looking too undersized to do much at all…

Um, not good. Glad I was at dinner during that, and more than happy to delete it from the DVR queue without watching it. I think the best thing to do is just pretend it didn’t happen, and be utterly confused when the Pistons end the series after only three wins.

Dirk Nowitzki Had a Really Bad Day: Speaking of convincing victories, how about the Warriors not just upsetting the Mavericks … but doing it by 25 points? That third quarter absolutely sank the Mavs, cemented the series as the upset of the year, ruined Dirk’s MVP justifiability, and scheduled both Mark Cuban and Avery Johnson for about three years of psychiatry after they wake up every night seeing Nellie in their dreams. Is that on the company insurance, Mark?

The Rockets Got the Early Boot: A shame, because for some reason I can’t really stand the Jazz and I love Yao Ming. (A Sports Illustrated story from a while back - which, of course, I can’t find now - settled it for me.) Also, it’s unfortunate to see Tracy McGrady mired in the “can’t win in the playoffs” muck. Here’s hoping the Rockets go and get some help and McGrady shakes off that title next May.

Floyd Mayweather and Oscar De La Hoya Struck Each Other Repeatedly: I saw the last two rounds of this fight at the bar Saturday night, so I can’t really comment, but everyone I talked to that watched the whole thing through said these two things: 1) Mayweather, without a doubt, should have had a unanimous decision, and 2) No wonder boxing is totally lacking in relevancy; the fights usually disappoint. Anyone want to add to that critique?

Fury, But No Sound: Right in the middle of the Kentucky Derby - which Street Sense came from way behind to win - the sound on NBC totally cut out. They didn’t figure this out until after the race, so no one I was with had any idea who won for a decent while after the race was already over. Talk about a sport that absolutely needs sound; for the casual viewer, every horse looks exactly alike. Here’s betting some engineering intern at NBC took a ripping from his superior Saturday.

Best Graduation Gift: Well, besides a very nice new wallet from the girlfriend and money and such from the parents, my roommate can through in the clutch with two incredible selections: The Best American Sports Writing 2006, and To Hate Like This Is to Be Happy Forever, which I’ve been sort of thinking about reading for quite some time now. Here’s to graduation presents, the best thing about the entire process. Well, that, and future earning potential. I suppose that’s OK too.

All growed up

April 29th, 2007 | Posted by PostmanE

Sorry, GP, but it’s not 1994 anymore.

Among the numerous taunting things that came out of my roommate and I’s mouths as the Bulls wore down - and swept - the Miami Heat today, that (my roommate’s comment) was perhaps the most poignant. Right when Tirico was introducing Payton as “The Glove,” an incredible defender with limitless tack, Ben Gordon zipped right past him and got to the hoop. Gordon scored on a floater, and Payton, who turned and screamed at himself, was obviously frustrated.

But who was he mad at? It’s not his fault he is getting older, just as it isn’t Alonzo Mourning’s fault that his knees don’t let him dominate defensively as he once used to, just as it isn’t Shaq’s fault that he can’t get any lift in the second half of games anymore, just as it isn’t Payton’s fault he can’t guard quicker perimeter defenders anymore. Like roommate No. 1 said - it ain’t 1994 anymore, and Shaq and Zo and GP and Toine and just learned: it’s 2007, and reputation is no match for well-drilled athleticism.

That’s really what the Bulls are all about, and why the team is so much fun to watch. They’re free-wheeling but execute in an incredibly defined manner. They have an air of nonchalance, but seem to hustle more than any other team in the NBA for offensive rebounds and second-chance points. They’re the type of team that makes you proud to be a fan, both for the way they play and for the way they try to play.

That style exposed the Heat. Veteran moxie isn’t enough to make up for an inability to guard off the dribble, and the Bulls worked the Heat in four straight games. How many open jumpers did they get? How many offensive tips led to second-attempt three pointers? If Dan Majerle taught us anything last week, it’s that you can’t give NBA players too many practice-quality shots, or they’re going to go down.

What the Bulls taught us this week is that they’re no longer babies. Don’t get me wrong; the Heat were bad. But a sweep, against the defending champions, who contain so many of yesterday’s stars (and one of today’s) … well, that’s nothing short of a coming of age. Not just for the Bulls, but for the New NBA.

Wanna make it a coronation? Bring on the Pistons.

And LeBron blows all our minds

May 18th, 2006 | Posted by PostmanE

I discussed this Tuesday. I had a quaint little post about how LeBron was the most naturally talented player ever to enter the NBA, the most explosive raw talent we’ve ever seen.

Now, LeBron has his ragtag Cavs up - UP - on the Pistons. Amazing.

Of course, last night’s win wasn’t just thanks to LeBron. The Pistons are playing noticably worse than they did almost the entire regular season. I’m not exactly an avid Pistons viewer, but that much is plain to see.

The Mighty MJD, a fan of the Mighty DTP, says it’s because the Pistons offense, and defense, are worse. That pretty much covers it all, I suppose.

But as bad as the Pistons are playing, these past two wins have been LeBron’s. He runs the show - a mystifying, gorgeous, make-you-giddy-about-the-NBA-again show.