David Beckham still not hip to the lingo

July 11th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanR

When I was in London a few years ago (is this the most overused lead-in on my posts? it’s certainly up there), one thing that was made painfully obvious to me by all the study abroad peeps was that even though we speak the same language, we don’t speak the same language.

For instance: they don’t say garbage, they say rubbish. And one that was of utmost importance to me: I was not waiting in a line at a bar or club, I was in the GD queue.  (Also: They are more apt to say “postman” than “mailman.” Fun!) Though it certainly wasn’t a main cause of concern, sometimes I said something or someone said something and there was confusion. But man, I was growing and learning and expanding my cultural awareness … so it was all good, homey.

And that’s why I can understand why David Beckham is still totally clueless sometimes.

The LA Galaxy star revealed he’s not quite down with his team mates’ lingo, saying they sometimes don’t understand what he’s saying either.

Becks said: ‘I must say I’ve had a few issues on that front. I sometimes say something and team mates don’t understand me.’

‘Then they say things and I don’t have a clue what they are going on about.’

‘The other day one of them said they had a raspberry. I can’t remember. They were talking about a grass burn! I couldn’t get my head around that one.’

Later Beckham admitted the main problem was that he’s spent so much time trying to figure out what the hell Snoop is saying that he hasn’t had time to pick up on much of anything else.

David Beckham is just showing off

March 6th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

David Beckham’s sojourn to the U.S. to MAKE SOCCER AWESOME has been an abject failure. It’s not because Beckham hasn’t been trying hard; for a guy with little else to prove career-wise (besides the fact that he can play the ball with his left foot), Beckham has worked his ass off. It’s just that … the L.A. Galaxy are bad. And like every other American gimmick, the luster wears off. Most people aren’t even paying attention anymore.

But that doesn’t mean Becks can’t flash a little money every once in a while. Which leads us to this heartwarming story of restaurant tippage, via SbB:

“When I gave them their tab, David snatched it away from his mates. They argued with him a bit but he just looked at them and told them to hush up. I know your website likes tipping stories so you’ll love this: The tab was about $100 and Becks had just added a zero to $1,000! - A $900 tip! I had to ask him if it was correct. He just said, “It is. Is Giggs still your favorite player?” “Not anymore!” On a day where the Galaxy played for charity, David really meant it! I know it’s not a windfall of cash but the tidy sum helped me fix my ailing car and get a cavity filled so it meant a lot to me. What a magical evening! Thank you, David!”

Awww. I would say this is a totally nice, friendly gesture, and my heart would melt into mush, etc, except that I see right though this sordid scheme. Unable to win the hearts of Americans with play on the soccer field, Beckham is beginning his astroturf campaign to build support from the ground up. Now, it’s merely bartenders. Tomorrow? Who knows? But is that the kind of soccer star you want answering that phone at 3 a.m.? Think about it, America.

This message sponsored by Giggs for America.

We’ve been had by Snoop and Becks

December 19th, 2007 | Posted by PostmanR

OK, so, I had fallen head over heels for this burgeoning friendship between Snoop Dogg and David Beckham. I mean, man, Snoop Dogg is friends with David Beckham? How unlikely and unique! And wow, Becks even gave Snoop’s kids private soccer lessons? Cool. But news flash everyone: we’ve been totally, totally had on the latter.

You see, as the above clip shows, this relationship seems to be nothing more than a cleverly crafted PR shtick — one that appeared on Snoop’s reality show. Oh wait, you guys brought slippers out to the pitch? How silly! Why here, why don’t you have some of these nice, new Adidas boots. (Wink, wink.)

Now, I’m willing to concede that Snoop and Becks probably do enjoy each other’s company and pal around a bit. But this whole thing with the soccer lessons followed by a trip to Roscoe’s? This whole cherade was written by some dude that works at E!

Sigh.

{HT: FanHouse via Who Ate All the Pies}

Snoop’s children get private soccer lessons from David Beckham

December 10th, 2007 | Posted by PostmanE

We already knew that David Beckham and Snoop Dogg had formed one of Beckham’s seemingly endless unlikely friendships. This bond actually happens to make sense, though. Both are overrated performers well past their primes — in fact, Snoop’s officially smoked himself “retarded”; it’s science! — and both have never been less relevant. Sort of makes sense, right?

Anyway, this isn’t just a business partnership. Apparently, Snoop’s kids are getting the professional treatment too:

The former England captain spent several hours with the rapper and his sons Cordé, 13, and Cordell, ten, and daughter Cori, eight, at their Los Angeles home, teaching them free kicks and dribbling tricks.

Beckham, now playing for LA Galaxy, is a huge hip-hop fan, and Snoop is popular with many Premiership football stars, such as Rio Ferdinand and Wayne Rooney.

A spokesman for Snoop said: “Their father loves talking about celebrities he knows, so Snoop’s brood called his bluff when he claimed to know David and insisted on meeting him before they practised soccer.Snoop was really pleased to work with David, as he is a massive football fan. The children loved meeting their hero.’

In exchange for the lesson, Snoop took Beckham to his favourite restaurant, Roscoe’s House of Chicken ‘n’ Waffles.

I’ve always wondered what it’s like to be a celebrity’s child. It’s not something I think I’d want to deal with; when you’re famous simply because you’re someone’s spawn, you’re not really getting a fair shake at life. But being Snoop’s child? That, apparently, is a whole ‘nother level … for better and, more often, for worse.

{HT: Ballhype}

David Beckham: Don’t pick on the foreigners

November 26th, 2007 | Posted by PostmanE

David Beckham has always seemed like a pretty reasonable guy. Of everyone surrounding his incursion into Major League Soccer, Beckham’s expectations of his performance were probably the most accurate, and hey, who doesn’t love Snoop Dogg?

After a premature England departure from Euro 2008 — and by “premature,” I mean “just lost to Croatia and won’t even make Euro 2008″ — Beckham is proving that assessment correct. How? He’s refusing to place the blame for England’s poor national play on the shoulders’ of its professional league’s many foreign players:

“There’s many excuses out there that people can come up with but I don’t think you can blame it on foreign players,” Beckham told BBC London.

“For me, the foreign players have brought something special to the Premiership and our country. Hopefully I’ll still be playing, and playing well enough, to be in the England squad in 2010.

“If you look back at 1974 and 1978 when we didn’t qualify for World Cups back then there was probably 90% of English players in the English league. Now there’s probably a lot more foreign players but I don’t think you can turn round and look at it like that.”

You’d think that stance, what with its intelligent use of examples and reasoned logic, would be the default opinion among European soccer’s leaders, but that’s not exactly true. After all, even FIFA president Sepp Blatter is talking about putting a cap on foreign players in England. I’m not sure how that would make England’s players better; so a bunch of mediocre players would be playing against each other week? We have that already. It’s called the MLS, and it’s every bit as high quality as the proposed Premiership. Which is to say, not very high quality at all.

{HT: The Offside}

David Beckham makes another American friend, this one is named ‘Snoop Dogg’

November 2nd, 2007 | Posted by PostmanR

You know, this David Beckham guy had me totally fooled. Here I thought all along he was coming to America solely to promote soccer in this fine country, reach out to our youth and try and make the sport more relevant in the States.

But, this is not so friends. It was clearly just a clever disguise to get at his ultimate plan: making movies and a fashion label with Snoop D-o-double-g:

Snoop Dogg has revealed that he and unlikely chum David Beckham are planning to work on some projects together that include a movie and fashion label.

The host of tonight’s European MTV Video Music Awards talked about his possible ventures with footballing star Becks, and how they have made an unusual bond.

He tells the Daily Mirror: “No one would have thought me and my boy David would have anything in common – we come from separate worlds. But he has the dollars at his disposal and we’re talking about putting our money together to do a movie. It’s incredibly exciting.
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“We both love fashion too, and we might even do a fashion label as well. I think he got his idea to have cornrows in his hair from me, which is great.

However, it’s not all just business with the duo. They have family time together as well, hanging out for some quality time together:

“It’s not just business that we talk about when we’re together, we also chat about our families all the time.

“He was terrific with my kids and they had a great time as he taught them how to shoot and score the perfect goal. That’s a partnership you never thought you would see – Snoop and Beckham.

He added: “I love soccer just as much as he loves hip hop. He hasn’t asked me to teach his kids how to rap yet – but I’m there if he ever needs it.”

David Beckham has to be like, the coolest dude ever. Tom Cruise and Snoop Dogg? How does he pull this off? I am so totally, utterly impressed by this man from England and the way he courts all of Hollywood’s most famous celebrities. What spirit and vigor he must possess.

Somewhat related: does anyone remember when Snoop went on trial for murder? Or when he was in a gang? Anyone?

{HT: SbB.}

Hey, he’s coming to America!

January 11th, 2007 | Posted by PostmanE

If I knew more Neil Diamond lyrics, I’d write them, right here, right now.

Anyway, my former favorite soccer player, David Beckham, is headed to the U.S. to play for the LA Galaxy for, like, $200 million. He’s actually only making $3 million or so from salary, but considering Becks will have full control of his image rights - and that is one expensive image - he’ll be profiting greatly.

This is a little bit bittersweet, if you ask me, only because Becks used to be a legimately world-class player. Sure, he wasn’t as good as the hype, but as a slow high school midfielder with not much more than an effective right foot and his brains, I completely identified with the man. Plus, I can change the subject to soccer anytime I want when I’m around my girlfriend simply by mentioning his name. He has … the power. Anyway, now, he’s totally average on the field, and he’ll be forced to make his money off the pitch. More power to him, I guess, but still: it’s a long way from where he was even three years ago.

But good for Becks. If all goes well, he should have a complete soccer flame-out in about two months when he realizes how bad his teammates are, at which point he will hire an agent, hunt movie stardom, and eventually record a Kevin Federline-esque hip hop album.

(UPDATE: I love stubborn American sports fans. ESPN’s Sportsnation poll is currently asking “Will David Beckham’s move to the Los Angeles Galaxy make you care more about the MLS?” With 107,000+ votes tallied, 60% of Yanks say no. Then again, 40% say yes, so maybe that is a small victory. Who knows.)

Celebrity friends = world takeover?

November 20th, 2006 | Posted by PostmanR

Super cool and fab couple Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes marriage was probably really extravagant in Italy this weekend. I bet you Katie�s dress was crafted by Xenu himself.

And they hang out with Posh and Beckham, which ups their game a considerable amount. That is, until, I read the reports that Mr. Real Madrid and Ms. Spice Girl may be converting to Scientology.

That�s just not cool. Sure Beckham can teach Tom�s little ones some soccer and bending and all that jazz, but dude, lay off the Scientology. If the most popular and recognizable face in the most popular and recognizable sport in the world starts to believe in L. Ron Hubbard�s teachings, it won�t be long before everyone in the world is getting their E-meter on.

It could be a mass world takeover. I�m scared. You should be, too.

Beckham contemplates finishing career in U.S.: Young women and gay men rejoice

April 11th, 2006 | Posted by PostmanR

Just imagine what it would be like if David Beckham plays in the MLS. He could totally, like, get a bunch of fans to come and ogle at him and get paid 1/10,000,000 of what he makes with Real Madrid in Spain now.

It�s an exciting premise for the English bloke.

Beckham�s assertion that he may someday like to play soccer in the U.S. seems to be more about promoting and expanding his image worldwide, then actually �wanting� to play in the MLS. Apparently he has some soccer academy for kids in L.A. he opened up in November and cites this as another reason for his interest in the States.

I can only hope Beckman gets involved in the Hollywood scene and drops �Posh Spice� for Paris Hilton or La Lohan.

Because the Spice Girls were sooooo 1997.