Derek Anderson interrupts this interview to tell you ‘we got overtime’

November 21st, 2007 | Posted by PostmanR

Yes, that we do, Matt Stover. That we do.

{HT: 100 percent injury rate.}

Hey, didn’t you know? Kellen Winslow is a playermaker, son.

September 20th, 2006 | Posted by PostmanR

Um, far be it from me, sitting here typing away on my laptop, sitting on a flower-printed couch straight out of your Florida summer home in 1993, to give advice to soldiers tight ends in the NFL. But I’m thinking, if I were to give advice, I would probably instruct Kellen Winslow not to say things like this when his coaching staff decides to leave him out of the game in key third down situations against the Bengals.

The Giants run the same system as we do. The Cowboys run the same system as we do, [Jason] Witten and [Jeremy] Shockey are on the field on third down, and I just don’t understand why I’m not on the field sometimes… It’s very frustrating. We’re losing and I’m not on the field. I just don’t get it….We need playmakers on the field and I’m just a playmaker.

OK, Kellen, here’s the deal. Chill. Relax. You are a talented football player, a very talented one, indeed. But dude, you crashed your motorcycle and have barely played the last two seasons. You haven’t really proven a damn thing yet – other than you being a f***ing solider. (Well actually, you never really proved that.) You have 17 career receptions. Nothing to hang the hat on, really. And until you prove something, why should offensive coordinator Maurice Carthon give you preference over anybody else?

Marvin Harrison is playmaker. LaDainian Tomlinson is a playmaker. Chad Johnson is a playmaker. You, my friend, are not a playmaker - yet.

Now, I can’t fault a guy for being frustrated with his current situation. That’s understandable. But this is the second game of the season. I repeat: The second game of the season. This isn’t week nine. This isn’t week 14.

So buddy, just play the game, work hard, keep the mouth under the wraps and maybe, just maybe, you’ll start to see the ball more.

Alright, now back to doing my best Al Bundy.

I scoff at the mongrel notion of owning only one type of football team in one country, saith the Lerner

July 25th, 2006 | Posted by PostmanE

No, owning the Browns isn’t quite enough for you, is it? You’ve got one medicore football team in your pocket, but no, you want another.

Fine, Mr. Lerner, but MJD is right. There’s a decent chance you have no clue what you’re getting into here. There’s a decent chance you do think there is a quarterback spot on the field.

There’s also a decent chance you went all Bill Simmons on the World Cup, and decided you wanted to pick a favorite Premiership team. The only difference is, of course, that your selection was not at all metaphorical. You actually PICKED a team.

You know what? That’s actually pretty badass.

Seriously, though, MJD is right in his curiosity. Why are people like the Glazers and Lerner and Bob Kraft so interested in the Premier League? In Kraft’s case, it seems like general soccer fandom, as he also helped promote the New England Revolution, even aiding them with an independent stadium. The Glazers? Who knows.

But Lerner - dude - at least these other guys have Super Bowls. Concentrate on a solid American football team first and then pick a little Saturday diversion. Soccer’s not going anywhere my friend, and I’m sure Carl Monday, Mike Cooper, and the rest of Cleveland would appreciate it if you focused on their Browns just a tad bit more.