The Onion: A nation mourns for Griffey

May 31st, 2007 | Posted by PostmanR

I know The Onion is a satirical site. But after reading this article on how we’d all rather have Ken Griffey Jr. break the home run record than Bonds and how Griffey’s career the last few years has just been bad break after bad break, I can’t help but feel like this article is actually reality — not something dreamt up by the creative team over there.

Wait, what’s that you say? Griffey Jr. is hurt again?

September 6th, 2006 | Posted by PostmanR

This has to be insanely frustrating if you are a fan of the Cincinnati Scarlets. First, you go on a gigantor losing streak, dropping you out of the Wild Card lead - maybe for good.

Then, it happens again. Ken Griffey Jr. gets hurt trying to make a play in centerfield. How many times has this happened now since he arrived in his hometown?

Three? Four? Five times?

I prefer to remember Griffey Jr. as the kid with the sweet swing, sporter of backwards hats and that infectious smile. The guy with the face on the front of one of my favorite Super NES games.

Not as an aging star, riddled with injury and diminishing skills. Yeesh.

Hang in there, Kenneth.