Prepubescent looking Chinese gymnasts are quite possibly actually prepubescent

August 14th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanR

So, as we all saw, the Chinese women’s gymnastics team didn’t all really look 16. But hey: people look older and younger than they are. It’s a fact of life. For instance: I think this last week of work has aged me 30 years. I’m bald and have a chronic arthritic condition. Also, my back hurts and I’m sick of mowing the lawn.

BUT ANYWAY, it looks like the speculation has turned into fact, or pretty effin’ close to it:

Just nine months before the Beijing Olympics, the Chinese government’s news agency, Xinhua, reported that gymnast He Kexin was 13, which would have made her ineligible to be on the team that won a gold medal this week.

A report in China’s official Xinhua news agency nine months ago listed gymnast He Kexin as being 13 years old. But she told reporters Wednesday that her real age is 16.

In its report Nov. 3, Xinhua identified He as one of “10 big new stars” who made a splash at China’s Cities Games. It gave her age as 13 and reported that she beat Yang Yilin on the uneven bars at those games. In the final, “this little girl” pulled off a difficult release move on the bars known as the Li Na, named for another Chinese gymnast, Xinhua said in the report, which appeared on one of its Web sites, www.hb.xinhuanet.com

The Associated Press found the Xinhua report on the site Thursday morning and saved a copy of the page. Later that afternoon, the Web site was still working but the page was no longer accessible. Sports editors at the state-run news agency would not comment for publication.

Whoopsies! Well, the one good thing that comes out of this if it is indeed true? The American team would likely move up from silver to gold. (I would think that’s how it works, anyways.) So, Alicia Sacramone, the-are-you-hot-it’s-hard-to-tell-if you’re-hot-let’s-just-say-you’re-attractive girl is vindicated of her awful feelings for the two falls and America goes home winners.

Come to think of it, this whole story is about as American as it gets. Other countries failures got us where we are today. Take that, British Empire!

On my growing obsession with the Olympics

August 11th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

In the past few years, I’ve formed a pretty coherent daily newsreading schedule. And wouldn’t you know it, it’s about 65 percent sports, 35 percent everything else. Of that 35 percent, probably 25 is politics. Miniature political junkie over here, which is to say, I probably read more political news than the average American, but less than an actual “junkie.” Something like that.

Anyway, I’ve found that the confluence of sports and politics is causing an irrational, unexpected interest in the Beijing Olympics. I’m utterly fascinated by it — by the sociopolitical condition in China, by its various mysteries and abuses, by the way large countries work so hard to gloss their reputations, by how everyone sort of drops everything the minute the Games start and pretend that all is well in the world.

(Plus, I was thinking about this the other night — in the course of human history, the Olympics are, like, a really big deal. They really matter, you know? In 100 years, people will look at the Beijing Olympics as the real true start of China’s introduction as a hybrid East-West power. It’ll be a milestone. Grade school kids will study it. Etc. Sorry, I had this thought just after Pineapple Express, so you can probably gather what spawned it.)

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that I really like sports, and I’m really interested in politics, and damn if the Olympics aren’t the best combination of the two sports has to offer. Which is a long way of saying that I would like to post this video now, where the U.S. beats France in an arbitrary race that, for whatever reason last night, meant a shitload to a lot of people just like me. It doesn’t make sense, but it sure is fun:

In your effing FACE, Frenchies. We destroyed you like a smelly Tibetan protester! Bitches!

The Olympics are happening EVEN AS WE SPEAK

August 8th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

Here’s what I want to know: If the Olympics aren’t a trap, can someone at least explain to me why we’re letting our athletes travel to a country that has a clearly advanced time-manipulation program? It’s only 8:37 in Chicago this morning, but somehow, it’s dark in China, and the Opening Ceremonies have already been dazzling the assembled crowd. Of course, it’s hard to tell if they’re actually dazzling the crowd; the Party has instituted a death penalty for frowning at any mention of the Olympics, smog, Sudan, Tibet, or the Cultural Revolution.

In the meantime, did you know China’s artists are selling out faster than bloggers? They are:

Rising nationalism and pride in China’s emergence as an economic power, and robust state support for artists who steer clear of political defiance, have transformed China’s cultural landscape since the early part of this decade. Today, directors, writers and painters who seek to expose the darker side of authoritarian rule not only enrage the censors, but also often find themselves shut out of the lucrative market for Chinese art, books and film. Many of those who find less political outlets for their talent, on the other hand, can get rich.

“People really are selling their talent in a way that can make them money,” said Ai Weiwei, an internationally recognized artist based in Beijing. “They really know that if they work with the government, they’ll benefit.”

The selling out has culminated, like many things in China’s recent history, with the Olympics. A formerly political director, Zhang Yimou directed films about poverty and Chinese culture and various other things the Chinese government knows are lies. Yimou even went so far as to lie to Chinese censors to get a movie made; the censors then banned him from making films for five years. Then he realized the error of his ways, went on to make “Hero” (you remember “Hero,” starring Jet Li), and he just finished directing the Opening Ceremonies in China’s modern coronation.

See? Sticking to your principles is bullshit. Let that be a lesson to you.

Anyway, the Olympics, man. They’re here. 13 hours from now.

China’s Internetz r broken

July 28th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

Stroll with me down memory lane, won’t you? 10 years ago. 1998. Jay-Z was riding high off the commercial success of Hard Knock Life, which wasn’t nearly as good as Reasonable Doubt but had some bangers, too. Bill Clinton was getting his knob-slob schedule openly dissected in the halls of Congress. Matt Drudge was still considered cool. You remember.

Every time you wanted to use the internet, you had to plea with your parents to get off the phone, Mom, I’m supposed to chat with my friends about our “homework” assignment, and I can’t while you’re talking to Grandma and you said you wanted us to have the internet for educational purposes so LET ME USE IT MOM. Ah, memories.

China’s Olympic peeps remember those days — in China, that was actually just last week (ht: SbB):

Slow connection speed and apparent restricted access to news websites have riled many of the media outlets already in Beijing 12 days out from the opening ceremony. The Chinese ruling party is widely known to monitor and limit all internet access within China. However, two years ago BOCOG media services head Li Jingbo promised in the official China Daily newspaper that there would be uncensored access during the Games, which begin on August 8.

Japanese reporters said click-through connections would not work. Connections drop out frequently and several organisations, including the Australian Olympic Committee, say the speed is up to 10 times slower than in Australia. One picture takes at least two minutes to send.

On one hand, this is surprising, because not only is China trying to use the 2008 Olympics to prove its status as one of the world’s great countries, its overall broadband speed is gaining ground on the fastest countries in the world. (The U.S., as it stands, is good, but not Japan-or-Sweden great.)

Then again, a lack of internet access would be a pretty handy way to keep opinions on China, and the games, as quiet as possible. It’s pretty hard to send back photos of Democratic protesters when those photos take 56K-style speeds to get there. And porn? Forget about it. What good is the internet without porn?

Chinese Olympics training manual maybe not the most sensitive thing ever written

June 2nd, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

That would be your cousin’s poetry. That is the most sensitive thing ever written. The Chinese Olympics manual for dealing with blind tourists? It’s a close second (via SbB):

To handle the “Optically Disabled,” the guide said: “Often the optically disabled are introverted. They have deep and implicit feelings and seldom show strong emotions. … Remember, when you communicate with optically disabled people, try not to use the world ‘blind’ when you meet for the first time.”

Sound advice. I heard (because I’m not “sonically disabled”) that blind people absolutely hate being reminded they’re blind, especially every single morning when they open their eyes. Also, yes, blind people are not animals. They have feelings too.

On the “Physically Disabled,” the guide said: “Physically disabled people are often mentally healthy. They show no differences in sensation, reaction, memorization and thinking mechanisms from other people, but they might have unusual personalities because of disfigurement and disability. For example, some physically disabled are isolated, unsocial and introspective; they usually do not volunteer to contact people. They can be stubborn and controlling; they may be sensitive and struggle with trust issues. Sometimes they are overly protective of themselves, especially when they are called ‘crippled’ or ‘paralyzed.”

I appreciate the attempt here, but I think those last two sentences are from the wrong book. Because that — unsocial, unusual, isolated, introspective, stubborn — was clearly written about bloggers.

IOC to China: Give sportswriters their Internet

April 1st, 2008 | Posted by PostmanR

There have been a few hiccups heading into the Olympic Games this summer in China. Namely, they’ve had to do with toilets, which is always fun. That seems resolved now. (Phew.) But alas, there are still more troubles ahead, more battles to fight in our quest to Westernize the grand country. You know how China blocks anything cool on the Internet?

Well, the IOC is fighting the filters.

Beijing routinely blocks Chinese access to some foreign news websites and blogs, a practice it has stepped up since rioting broke out over two weeks ago in Tibet.

Kevan Gosper, vice chairman of the IOC coordinating commission, said restricting access to the Internet during the games “would reflect very poorly” on the host nation.

“This morning we discussed and insisted again,” Gosper said. “Our concern is that the press (should be) able to operate as it has at previous games.”

Gosper said the Chinese had an obligation under the “host city agreement” to provide Internet access to the 30,000 accredited and non-accredited journalists expected to attend.

[ … ]

When asked about Gosper’s comments, Foreign Ministry spokeswoman Jiang Yu said China’s “management” of the Internet followed the “general practice of the international community.”

She acknowledged that China bans some Internet content, and said other countries did the same. She declined to say if the Internet would be unrestricted for journalists during the Olympics.

As a blogger and purveyor of all things Internet, I back the IOC here. (If there was this kind of block on foreign media in the US, how would I get all my rugby news? Also: what else are they supposed to do to pass time during the floor routines?) Because really, an Olympic Games where AP sports columnist of the year Bill Plaschke isn’t able to use the Internet to its fullest capabilities is an Olympic Games that will severely lack in quality coverage.

I need my overwrought, confusing ledes mixed with sentence fragments, and I need them this summer, thank you very much.

Globalization’s next victim: Chinese toilets

February 25th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

It’s a conundrum Tom Friedman would love: At the upcoming 2008 Beijing Olympic Games, lots of people are going to need to use the restroom. Many of these people will be from Western countries and Japan. Many of these people will be used to the customs in their countries, which involve sit-down toilets and the flushing of used toilet paper. These are not the Chinese customs.

Instead, Chinese people squat, and use toilet paper too thick for flushing purposes. When silly Westeners get their hands on these toilets, well, a quick glimpse at any communal bathroom in the U.S. will give you an idea of the potential for destruction. Gross.

Will the Westerners adjust? Or will China ditch its toilets and ass sandpaper and absorb yet another tenet of Western life? In either case, there have to be more sanitary ways to learn about globalization.