Oh snap: Mike Downey pwns the Sun-Times

May 8th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

The Sun-Times is good at lots of things, but most of all, they’re good at bandwagoneerism. It helps to have Jay Mariotti on their roster, who windsocks with popular (and unpopular) opinion almost every single day. That helps.

But beyond Jay — when the slightest hint of buzz surrounds a topic, the Sun-Times is fantastic at absolutely beating it into the ground. Witness the contrived populist outrage surrounding Wrigley’s potential name change, something most reasonable people seem to be OK with, but something the Sun-Times seems intent on fighting with poetry.

This week’s White Sox blow-up doll blow up is no different. Most people have moved on, firm in the knowledge that baseball people are just as stupid and insensitive as one would assume. Nothing more, nothing less. But the Sun-Times needs to keep pickups high! They need this! Don’t you take this away from them!

The final word instead goes to Mike Downey, who absolutely excoriated, or pwned (whichever you prefer) the Sun-Times for its own women issues:

• Naked Dancers: Peep Show, $20 for 1/2 Hour”

• X-Treme Body Massages with ‘Hotties’ ”

• Hot, Wild, Fun—Blonde or Brunette?”

— Ads that ran in Wednesday’s sports section of the Chicago Sun-Times. Awwww, isn’t it sweet of the Sun-Times to go to bat against Ozzie Guillen’s bad language and the sexism of the White Sox? Gloria Steinem must be the new editor over there. I mean, isn’t it great to see the Sun-Times scolding the White Sox this way for offending women? You know, while the paper runs sex-club ads and sexy photos of non-athletes in the sports section? […] Bravo to the Bright One for making sure no one out there is offended by sex or dirty talk.

Downey’s logic eventually tapers off — he criticizes the Sun-Times for publishing the blow-up doll story as if the story itself is another example of crude content — but he’s absolutely, 100 percent right. More importantly, he’s criticizing the crosstown newspaper, and open newspaper feuds in Chicago are freaking awesome. They’re sort of like blog feuds, except even lamer. And that’s really fucking lame.

Welcome to the Jay Mariotti mailbox

March 31st, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

The Tribune and Sun-Times like to have their fair share of spats, most of which revolve around one of two things: Whether or not the Sun-Times is in fact dying (if the quality of its broadsheet is any indication, the answer is a wholehearted “yes”), and whether or not Jay Mariotti is indeed the spawn of the devil.

What’s funniest about the latter is that Mariotti is, in fact, quite bad at his job, though that’s only if you value insight and analysis and an interesting read. If you value controversy and papers sold — as a struggling paper like the Sun-Times might — then Mariotti is one of the best in the country at bringing it nearly every single day. It’s dishonest and silly, but it moves papers. Also, the Trib shouldn’t throw stones: They give Mike Downey ink twice a week, and even the Trib’s good columnists aren’t above the occasional dopey pander.

Still, this is hilarious: The Tribune has opened up the Jay Mariotti mailbox, a not-at-all-subtle jab at the Sun-Times‘ recent decision to outlaw reader feedback on Mariotti’s columns. (That way, no one can challenge Jay’s authoritah!) Readers can put whatever comments they’d rather have put under Mariotti’s byline on the Tribune’s site, and can thus have their feelings made known to the world. Little do they know, they’re only making Jay more famous. Whoops!

The Tribune’s site looks to be flooded with comments, which is no surprise. The real surprise is that an intern agreed to this. Poor bastard.

This weather is making me seasonally deprizzled

March 20th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

This isn’t even a sports headline, but since I picked on the Stimes the other day, it’s only fair I point this Trib headline out:

Yes, that’s snizzle. As in snow and drizzle. Or, as in “I just ripped a bowl and this doppler is geeking me out. Let’s inexplicably listen to some Snoop Dogg.”

In other news, these afternoon games are destroying my spirit. Marquette is finally pulling away from Kentucky, Pittsburgh’s putting it on Oral Roberts, and Baylor is simultaneously ruining my bracket and making Purdue look primed for an Elite Eight run. It’s a good thing there are like 8000 million more games later today and tomorrow. God, this tournament rules.