Good thing I’m not the jealous type

October 31st, 2006 | Posted by PostmanE

Otherwise, a new realization would really be tearing me up inside. It would be affecting the way I work, distracting me to the point of insanity.

The realization is this: how bad have the past four years been for Cubs fans?

The argumentation is pretty self-evident, once you broach the subject. For the sake of detail, however:

1. 2003 - Bartman. Moises. NLCS. A-Gon. Marlins in the World Series; Marlins beat the Yankees
2. 2004 - Red Sox. End of Curse. Second-longest streak over. Mutual solidarity wiped away.
3. 2005 - White Sox. Ozzie. South side. Redemption. Chicago’s “new” team.
4. 2006 - Cardinals. LaRussa. Eckstein. Pujols. Weak national league; weaker World Series champs

I mean, god damn. Not only do the Cubs choke in the NLCS - to the team that eventually won the World Series - the next three champs are the visceral equal of salt in Cubs fans’ eyes. The Red Sox…fine. They deserved one as much as anyone. But the White Sox? You had to do that to us, didn’t you. And the Cardinals? Seriously, the Cardinals?

It’s as if the last three World Series champs have won just to remind the Cubs of what was lost in 2003. It’s like the baseball gods wanted to make it especially clear that the Cubs royally screwed their last possible opportunity. Somewhere, someone (or some thing) is laughing about this.

So am I. Because, you know, it’s not really my style to get all worked up about these sorts of things. Not even a minor distraction, this is.

(THIS IS WHERE I SWEAR LOUDLY TO MYSELF)

Ahem. Nope, not distracting me at all.

Sure thing, Lou - anything else?

October 17th, 2006 | Posted by PostmanE

As I celebrate - entirely half-heartedly - Lou Piniella’s introductory press conference this afternoon, I shudder to think about the demands Piniella will make if turns the Cubs into anything resembling a winner.

Why? Because LouLou just got to Chicago, and he’s already making crazy requests. That’s right. According to Gene Woj at ESPN.com - who should be commended for breaking this sort of story from the typically withdrawn position of columnist - the Cubs’ raising of their payroll budget from around $100 to $115 million wasn’t quite enough to keep Lou happy. He wants a fresh serving of A-Rod, too.

I can embrace the spirit. In fact, if PostmanR wants me to keep writing this site, he’s going to need to provide each of the following:

• A $10 million autobiographical book deal
• A rent-free room at the Playboy Mansion
• A lifetime supply of MandM’s-flavored Kudos (the ones with chocolate covering)
• This TV, and an XBOX 360, with every game yet released
• Jay Mariotti to personally apologize to everyone on Earth for being born

These are my demands. They are non-negotiable.

But seriously, who does Piniella expect the Cubs to deal? Ramirez … and who? Zambrano? Not going to happen. Prospects? Have at it, Cashman. Not a whole lot going on there.

The Goat Riders and Bleed Cubbie Blue will probably do a lot more on this - and like GRoTA, I’d LOVE for this to happen, but I don’t see it. I guess you never know.

PostmanR!! Kudos!! NOW!!!! (What is he doing back there? I never know what he’s doing…)

While R sits at the beach…

August 9th, 2006 | Posted by PostmanE

…I got this e-mail forwarded to us from a White Sox fan, dripping with smarm:

This morning on Comcast there was a poll asking if the Cubs were still on the wild card race. Sixty-six percent of respondents said yes. The Cubs are 9.5 games out behind 11 teams. Is that a joke? Sixty-six percent of Cubs fans are hopeless dreamers.

Ahem…66%?!? I’m among the least-jaded Cubs fans around, but that’s a whole lot of people smokin’ some of that fine Dusty Baker rock. Remember, a few days ago, he said:

Asked whether he ever glanced at the wild-card standings and thought about whether the Cubs would be in contention if they simply had tread water in May and June, Baker replied: ‘We played the best we could at that time. You can’t time it when guys get hot. I look at it like we’re still in it right now. I just haven’t commented on it. But we still have action now.’

Let’s not forget, of course, that the e-mail that sparked this little discussion was sent by some White Sox lovers, probably a bit stressed about the fact that they have a really, really good baseball team that might not even make the playoffs this year. Which, to me, would be unbelievably tragic. (Go Twins.)

But let’s also think rationally here: the Cubs do not have “action,” Dusty. They do not have the beginnings of action. If they won 10 in a row, miracle of all miracles, I would still say be hesitant to say they had “action.” To be honest, I don’t even know what “action” means.

Also, to the 66% of you that voted in that Comcast Poll - come on. It’s great to have a little faith, the Cubs are playing well of late, everyone’s feeling good, it’s one big collective pat on the back, sure. Compared to May and June, anything would feel good right now. But don’t let it cloud your judgment. This Cubs team doesn’t have what it needs to have to get into the playoffs this year. It will not make a push; all thoughts to the contrary are futile, silly, and clinically unhealthy.

Seperating head from soul: The Greg leaves Chicago

August 1st, 2006 | Posted by PostmanE

It’s easy to find a proper excuse for why the Cubs had to trade Greg Maddux. He’s not great anymore, and his $9 million deal is a bit too much to stomach on even the healthiest of payroll appetites.

The reality is, though, that the Cubs had to trade anyone. Jim Hendry had to do something. His name hasn’t risen above culpability for this season’s malaise quite far enough; this team, while thoughtfully constructed, just isn’t built the way it had to be to insure success. Where’s the relief pitching? Where are the extra starters? Where are the non-Cedeno, non-Murton prospects to fill holes inevitably created when the injury duo (Prior, Wood) go down again? This team had no backup plan, no insurance policy, and Hendry had to trade Maddux today, lest he look unconcerned.

All that’s well and good, but the problem is: I really, really like Greg Maddux. He’s still functionally good (his WHIP was 1.28 as of the trade; not fantastic, but not horrid), and owns - dare I say the naughty word - intangibles. (Gasp!) He brings a bit of experience and leadership to a clubhouse that hasn’t been stable the entire year.

But that’s not the only reason I like him. Maddux was the Cub gone Brave success story. He left the tortured franchise early in his career to go off and do miraculous things. And then he came back, full of the promise of redemption, ready to bolster a dynamic, fireballing rotation with a little veteran moxy.

It didn’t happen. That’s obvious. It’s also obvious that this is probably an OK trade for the Cubs, that Maddux wasn’t doing much good in Chicago for much longer. It doesn’t help, of course, that acquiring Cesar Izturis is about as exciting as acquiring a Cesar Izturis Donruss rookie edition. Not a whole lot of value here.

So the emotional attachment is still there. And for all of the rigors of intelligent observation, the glaring thought that Mad Dog could have ended his career in Wrigley, spilling from the dugout onto the field after a routine World Series-ending ground ball, is a sharp pang. Like seeing Michael vulnerable to mortality, it doesn’t at all feel acceptable.

Case of the Mondays: Cubs win! Cubs win!

July 31st, 2006 | Posted by PostmanR

Baseball:

We’re not sure how, but the Cubs have flat out dominated the Cardinals at Wrigley Field this season. The club’s four-game sweep of the Birdnals this weekend dropped Pujols and crew to a woeful 0-7 at Wrigley on the year. Hard to believe, no? You know, sort of like Mel Gibson getting a D.U.I. and being an anti-Semite in the process.

The Yankees acquired right fielder Bobby Abreu and pitcher Cory Lidle from the Phillies yesterday. Aging power hitter? Check. Unnecessarily large contract? Check.

Doping:

After Floyd Landis failed a drug test for having a little too much testosterone in his system (it was that sweet, sweet beer, damnit!) sprinter and sole co-world-record holder in the 100 meters, Justin Gatlin, tested positive for testosterone or other steroids from a drug test administered after a race in April. Gatlin’s coach claims he was sabotaged by a massage therapist who rubbed in a testosterone cream without Gatlin’s knowledge. Remember kids, drugs are bad for you.

Snoop Bloggy Blog:

Proof that Lance Armstrong was indeed in Iowa this weekend. E wasn’t making this up, people. [Deadspin]

Chuck Norris, the Combat League Playoffs and you. [Sportsfrog]

Ever wonder what announcers say during commercial breaks? Here’s a video of it. [WBRS Sports Blog]

And your bizarre, yet somewhat fitting story from the All-Star Game goes to…..

July 12th, 2006 | Posted by PostmanR

JOEY CORA and CARLOS ZAMBRANO!

We’ll let the Chicago Tribune take over for a bit here:

The team’s only All-Star, pitcher Carlos Zambrano, was hit above the right elbow with a fungo bat during pregame practice Tuesday by White Sox coach Joey Cora. Neither Zambrano nor Cora was available for comment afterward. Cora said through a Sox spokesman that Zambrano was doing an interview with a Venezuelan journalist behind the batting cage and Cora hit struck with a backswing while he was hitting ground balls to infielders. X-rays taken at PNC Park were negative.

The article later indicated that Zambrano’s ‘elbow tendon contusion’ as they are calling it, was the reason he didn’t see any action in the All-Star Game, as he was slated to pitch the fourth and fifth inning.

We’re at a loss for why Cubs fans seem to hate A.J. Pierzynski so much. (OK, actually we’re not, but follow us here.)

Wasn’t it Cora who got involved in the brawl and may or may not have used his teeth as a weapon? And now, he goes ahead and injures the only Cubs starter of any value?

It’s time to reevaluate your hating priorities, Cubs fans.

Weekend Fun: So, what else is there to do?

June 23rd, 2006 | Posted by PostmanE

As I noted earlier today, this is one of the first ‘Weekend Fun’ posts we’ve ever had to make without mentioning the NBA playoffs. Fortunately, the NBA draft is nearly here, so you can spend some time this weekend thinking about that, if you’re so inclined. (We’d like to personally thank Isiah Thomas for the Bulls’ beneificial draft picks this year. Thanks, Ike.)

Also, the lack of basketball will certainly be accompanied by an increased interest in day-to-day baseball stuff - and not just Ozzie Guillen vs. Jay Mariotti nonsense (though Rick Morrissey writes a column worth reading today on the subject). Like, actual baseball. I might even start working through the Cubs media guide I was recently given. Exciting stuff, I know.

But, in the short term, the NBA’s lingering absence will no doubt be most effectively filled by the World Cup, which, despite a boring afternoon of action today, continues to entertain and surprise and destroy the spirits of men. Group of 16 action starts tomorrow afternoon with Germany v. Sweden at 11 and Argentina v. Mexico at 3. Sunday, the team I’m likely to root on now, England, will face Ecuador in the early match, and those pesky Polskis will take on their neighbors, the Netherlands.

R departs for Bloomington as we speak, signaling impending drunkenness. Enjoy your weekend as well, peeps. See you Monday.

Lee Elia to Cubs Fans: Get a freakin’ job

June 7th, 2006 | Posted by PostmanR

To set the scene.

It’s April 29th, 1983 and the Chicago Cubs have just lost by a run at home to the Los Angeles Dodgers – dropping the team to 5-14 on the season. A crowd of 9,391 booed the squad during and after the game. (Cleary, not all that much has changed.)

Instead of giving the status quo ‘We’re playing well, but just not coming out on top,’ type of post-game interview, Manager Lee Elia went off on a profanity-laden tirade ripping into Cubs fans for their actions.

He almost manages to swear as much as this guy.

Take heed, Dusty Baker.

This one is a doozy. Take a look at this NSFW clip.

Detailing brutality

May 30th, 2006 | Posted by PostmanE

Earlier, I mentioned the Cubs and how their first few months - especially May - have been unbelievably brutal, dropping the team well below .500 and leaving even the most optimistic of supporters without hope for the future.

That was a generalized view; accurate, but not specific.

Paul Sullivan, the Chicago Tribune’s Cubs beat reporter, actually wrote a story with every low point from the season thus far. It’s staggering in its detail and in just how incapable and unfortunate this Cubs team has been.

Check it out. If you dislike the Cubs, you will probably enjoy this. If are a Cubs fan, I almost want to tell you to stay away.

Memorial Day brings the funk

May 26th, 2006 | Posted by PostmanE

Off work Monday? Three-day weekend upon you? Sure, it sounds ok, but you know you’ll get sucked in to hanging out with family eventually. Oohhh. Ouch.

Never fear. There’s plenty of stuff to watch this weekend.

Tonight, the stellar NBA playoffs continue as the Mavs try not to get Diaw’d again and the Suns try to set records for chucking ability and the U.S. National Team attempts to get a friendly win. Tomorrow, the Pistons and Heat start up again, and the Cubs will try to WIN A GAME PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

Sunday, a bunch of cars will go around in a circle for a few hours, and everyone will love it. I’ll be watching basketball, thank you.

Good luck to you all.

(By the way, not to get too schmaltzy or anything on you, but thanks to the people who are the real reason we have a day off work Monday - our fallen, and living soldiers. Props, homies.)