The only way to fix Barkley’s swing? A reality show.

August 14th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanR

Have you guys ever seen that Pussycat Dolls reality show? I don’t know what it’s called or who’s in it or what’s at stake, but I kept it on for three minutes last night because two girls were in the bathtub together at the same time. AND I BET THAT WAS TOTALLY NOT STAGED.

Apparently, Charles Barkley is getting his own reality show to help fix his swing on the Golf Channel and Tiger Wood’s swing coach,  Hank Haley, is getting the call to correct it. I hope it does not feature him and another dude in a bathtub. (Unless it is Dwyane Wade.) The details:

The goal: “Fix Charles Barkley’s swing,’’ says Sir Charles, who took Woods’ suggestion and called Haney. “It’s some ugly (stuff), isn’t it? It’s not only terrible, it’s embarrassing.’’

“I was telling Hank (Tuesday) that when I’m standing over the ball, I’m (expletive deleted) terrified. I have no idea what’s going to happen. He told me he used to have the yips, but not as bad as me. That’s what makes me think he can fix what’s wrong.’’

I used to have the yips too. But I went to this golf outing on Tuesday, and this guy that used to play for the Yankees and then went on to the PGA Tour gave me lessons the whole day and now I only have half a case of the yips. So if I half-cured my yips in one day, I think a whole reality series is going to straighten Charles out.

Yips-ee!

Charles Barkley knows more about television production than Ernie Johnson

May 14th, 2007 | Posted by PostmanE

Well, sort of.

I didn’t stay up late enough to catch this last night — I know, I’m a baby — but in TNT’s always-amazing postgame show, what appeared to be some typical tomfoolery from the crew was actually a mistake only Charles noticed. Take a look:

Too funny. Can’t believe Ernie didn’t pick up on that before Charles did — and didn’t believe the Chuckster when he pointed out the discrepancy. Usually, EJ keeps things together during the highlight packages, and Charles and Kenny just sort of ramble on about whatever they please. Half the time, it doesn’t even seem like they know highlights are being played. I stand corrected, I guess.

Oh, and also, you know tonight’s show is going to be wild, because Shaq is on set. If the show goes anything like Shaq’s season, he’ll take 80% of the show off, show up at the end, and make a conspicuous early exit.

HT: Awful Announcing

Case of the Mondays: Michael is the Russian judge

February 19th, 2007 | Posted by PostmanE

Never has such a fantastic example of athleticism received so little due. Usually, it’s the other way around; athletes are oftentimes collectively praised as “bigger, stronger and faster” than their predecessors even when the charge shouldn’t stick. Usually the modern athlete, through the power of hyperbole, gets the benefit of the doubt - and it’s usually warranted.

Dwight Howard’s brilliant sticker-dunk, unfortunately, received none of that treatment.

The best dunk in a somewhat lethargic dunk contest went unrecognized, as Recluse at FreeDarko says: “by some of the sport’s foremost disciples of the leaping arts.” Without the benefit of a replay or at least a camera, that panel didn’t get the chance to see Dwight’s smiling face 12 feet, six inches high, and the big fella got screwed.

Props to Gerald Green for creativity. The Dee Brown throwback dunk had like eight different premeditated elements going for it. Impressive, sure, but no way anyone cares about that dunk in a year. It’ll be all sticker-dunk, all the time.

All Star Roundup:

– The West won a relatively slow-paced All Star game, 153-132, and Kobe Bryant was the MVP. Yes, I just called a game in which 285 combined points were scored “slow-paced.” It’s true - don’t confuse a lack of defense with pace or energy. Only Amare and Kobe, and sometimes LeBron, seemed to care all that much. Still entertaining, though, that’s for sure.

– Jason Kapono. Yawn.

– Dwayne Wade. Yawnnnn.

– Charles Barkley! I love Charles a lot - he’s easily my favorite analyst/talking head/degenerate gambler on TV - and he and Kenny Smith absolutely owned the entire All Star Weekend. Barkley’s race with Dick Bavetta was great, but Barkley’s line afterward - “We raised a ton of money for charity … (looks at $50,000 check) … we raised two blackjack hands for charity!” - was completely brilliant.

Oh, and some sort of race happened yesterday. Not sure what that’s about.