Brian Urlacher, marketing genius

August 6th, 2007 | Posted by PostmanE

Interesting interview in Peter King’s seemingly caffeine-free (hey, the season hasn’t started yet; PK better not be on the white pony already) MMQB column today: apparently, Brian Urlacher knows how to generate positive brand identity.

You know the awesome Vitamin Water commercial with David Ortiz? Yep: Urlacher’s idea:

Me: Tell me about the badminton commercial you made with David Ortiz. What was that like?

Urlacher: “He’s a great guy. Great guy. The one problem was, I couldn’t understand half the stuff he was saying. It took us about eight hours one day in the spring. We did it down where he has spring training [in Fort Myers, Fla.] with the Red Sox. The interesting thing about how the commercial came about was, I told vitaminwater we play badminton in the locker room sometimes, and it’s a cool company. They designed a commercial with me and David playing.”

That’s right, folks: not only are we currently faced with the revelation that members of the Chicago Bears play special teams in the locker room (somewhere, George Halas is spinning), but that Brian Urlacher took that abnormality and, with the help of Vitamin Water, turned it into a high-concept television spot.

Now, if only he would take up some ground level promotional gigs …

My day with Vitamin Water continues

May 3rd, 2007 | Posted by PostmanR

So, if you stopped by here earlier today, you’ll remember the Vitamin Water commercial post I threw up. And, you’ll also remember the title of said post was as follows: “You know what? I think I will try some Vitamin Water.”

I continued going about my business after I finished up that entry, messing around on the computer and pretending to study for my last final of college EVER. Then, I got hungry. This can happen to growing boys, or so I’ve heard. So, I headed out the door of the building I was studying in and BOOM, there it was:

Yes, there was a huge Vitamin Water van just chilling like a villain right outside the door. I talked to the dude who was hanging out in the driver’s seat; I told him I loved the new commercials and he hooked me and the girl up with a free bottle of their new flavor “XXX.” It was berry-flavored. It was tasty. It was berry tasty. Actually, I’ll have another sip now. Mmmm.

So, Vitamin Water account executives out there: We have plenty of ad space available on our Web site. Would you like a banner ad? Something in the sidebar? Let us know, homies.

(Anyone notice how Dan Majerle took over the Postmen last Thursday? Now, this Thursday Vitamin Water has ruled the day? I see a trend developing here…)

Some Super Bowl betting help for you suckers

February 1st, 2007 | Posted by PostmanR

Much has been made of the Billy Joel “just how long will he sing the National Anthem?” bet, which you can wager on over at the fine sports betting site, Bodog. You can also bet on about 1,000,000,000,000 other things for Sunday’s matchup over at Bodog.

Let’s dip into some, shall we?

Who will score more on Sunday: LeBron James or the Indianapolis Colts?

Well, LeBrizzle and the Cavs are hosting the Pistons at home Sunday. James is averaging 27.2 points a game. Eh, this one is TOUGH. Let’s go with LeBron here. Hopefully he drops over 30, because I see the Colts easily being able to score 27 or perhaps more on the Bears. OK, so maybe it would be better to go with the Colts then? Man, this betting stuff is hard.

Who will have more: James Blunt total Grammy wins or Peyton Manning total touchdown passes?

James Blunt is a douche. Plus, he’s British. BUT, Peyton Manning is a douche. And, he plays for the Colts. All that aside, I’d go with Peyton here. Yeah, Blunt is up for five grammys. HOWEVA, he has to go against Gnarles Barkley in the ‘record of the year’ category. No way he wins that one. So that like, totally means Peyton will get more TD passes than Blunt grammy awards. It’s science, people.

Who will have more on Sunday: Brian Urlacher solo tackles or Jason Kidd assists?

Definitely J. Kidd. He’s averaging almost nine dimes a game. Yes, Urlacher is quite the linebacker, but come on, I don’t see him racking up that many solo tackles. Racking up that many Miami women? Why yes, of course.

As far as the actual game line?

The Colts are seven point favorites. My head says take them to cover, my heart says Bears: 40 Colts: 0. So, yeah, um…wait, is that James Blunt playing outside my window? I must go investigate.

There’s no way we can still convince you?

August 29th, 2006 | Posted by PostmanE

Retire. That simple. What are you still doing here? You’re no longer needed; the next generation is here, the millenial generation, full of guys that throw harder and run faster.

Look, we didn’t want to have to tell you like this. We wanted it to be on your terms, Brett, wanted you to be in control, like you were for so many years behind center. We wanted you to peace out peacefully, to trot away from the game at your own leisure.

But here you are still. Playing three quarters of a preseason game against the Bengals. Hurting, getting beaten. Badly. Why do this? Is this necessary? What are you trying to prove?

There’s still time. Aaron Rodgers is right there, and sure, people in Green Bay will be pissed, but they’re the only ones. Oh, and Joe Theismann too - but they’ll get over it.

Everyone else will thank you. Because you’re not just hurting yourself, or your legacy, Brett - you’re hurting us. Do the right thing; end it. End it end it end it. Or face severe punishment: