That kid finally took off his Favre jersey

May 6th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanR

Remember the kid who wore his Brett Favre jersey for like, a bazillion days in a row? Well he finally took it off after 1,581 days. Apparently it was getting a bit short on him — wasn’t quite making the waistline anymore. Congratulations are in order. It’s not every day you find that kind of dedication  out of a 12-year-old.

So you know what this means, right? Favre is officially done. Not coming back. Nope not now. Not ever. Thank you social outcast boy, for making it so.

Retired? Brett Farve’s not retired

April 3rd, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

Dear. God. No.

Green Bay Packers quarterback Brett Favre, who announced his retirement last month after 17 seasons, could be weighing a comeback with another team.

According to NFL sources, Favre’s agent has quietly inquired with teams about their interest in trading for the three-time NFL most valuable player.

Are we serious? Even after the whole teary press conference thing, the whole Sportsman of the Year cover, all of that, Brett Farve is still considering a comeback? What. the. fuck.

I have nothing else to add to this except yep, this day pretty much blows. The Cubs are losing 2-0 to the Brewers in the first (fucking Ryan Dempster god damnit), and now Brett Farve is coming back. I really, really don’t get it.

Bill Plaschke kicks off the Brett Favre fellatio

March 4th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanR

Look: I’ve said it before on this site, I appreciate Brett Favre the player, because he did things this past NFL season he should not have. I can respect him for that. But if there’s one thing that’s makes you loathe the guy (and something that’s not really his fault), it’s the MSM’s insistence on treating him like he’s the Hero of all Heros, a modern day Leonidas. It’s annoying; it’s somewhat uncalled for; it’s just stopitalready. But now with his apparent retirement today, we’re going to get bombarded with it for the next week or so.

And let our guy Bill Plaschke usher us into the lovefest:

Football has lost its face.

With his beard stubble and fiery eyes and gaping grin, has anybody ever symbolized the game’s rough-hewn hope better than Favre?

Football has lost its voice.

With his southern accent filling everything from his signals to his whoops to his tears, has anybody ever sounded like the sport’s small-town beginnings more than Favre?

Football has lost a chunk of its heart.

Ah yes, the stubble, the fiery eyes … keep going Bill! Your one-sentence graphs are moving me!

He’ll be remembered, by me, for an interview I conducted with him several years ago in a Green Bay Packers office.

He walked in wearing a tattered T-shirt and underwear. On the back of the underwear, in clear block letters, was printed the name, “IRVIN FAVRE.”

“What is that?” I asked.

“Oh, yeah,” he said. “Any time I go home to visit, the laundry gets all mixed up and I come back with my dad’s underwear.”

[ … ]

“We’re just regular people,” she said. “Brett is just a regular guy who happens to know how to throw a football. It’s fun, ain’t it?”

This is just the tipping point, my friends. I think Peter King is penning his column about that time he interviewed a naked Favre while they ate watermelon and talked about audibles. Speaking of which …

Brett Favre retires. No seriously, he told his team and everything. Really, believe me guys!

March 4th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanR

Last week, TSB picked up this screen grab from the Packers’ official Web site which said Brett Favre, quarterback of the Gods, was indeed retiring. BUT THEN, turns out he actually wasn’t: it’s just a news package they bundle together each year around this time and it accidentally got on their page or something. (Huh?) But it’s looking like they should have stuck to their guns all along, because Jay Glazer of FoxSports.com — who seems to have the correct scoops as of late — writes Brett Favre is retiring. As in, he will no longer be wooing the ladies of Wisconsin anymore with his right arm.

The details (emphasis mine):

FOXSports.com has learned that legendary quarterback Brett Favre has decided to retire. In fact, it’s believed he informed the Packers of his decision within the last few days, although it’s unclear when Favre and the team will make his decision known.

So barring an unforeseen last-minute change of heart, Favre will leave the game after 17 years, during which he built himself into a household name and a figure synonymous with grit, toughness and perseverance.

Yes, the old “unforeseen last-minute change of heart” may still creep up. So weep not: even though it appears to be over, Mr. Grit, Toughness and Perseverance isn’t quite officially out of our hearts yet. So you’re telling me there’s a chance? YEAH!!

Brett Favre is back!

February 28th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

To talking about retiring! Or maybe actually retiring! Or something!

Thanks to blog bestie Chris Mottram at the Sporting Blog, above is a screenshot of the Packers official Web site from earlier in the day. (Now it requires a password. Who knows.) So either Brett Farve is retiring, or one of the poor bastards Packers.com got to be an intern is getting a merciful pink slip today.

Update: According to the Sporting Blog, the Packers PR guy is saying this is a standard story they prepare every winter. That’s funny in and of itself, I think.

Case of the Mondays: Nursing your alcoholic wounds

January 2nd, 2007 | Posted by PostmanR

Welcome to 2007, friends.

Hopefully, your booze-induced hangover has fully departed your system, ensuring you a fresh approach to the new year. If not, then dude, let’s hang out this weekend. Give me a call, OK?

You may or may not have noticed, amid the throng of patrons at the 100-dollar-a-head bar you were at Sunday night, but Rex Grossman reverted back to Mr. Turnover while Brett Favre shined.

I’d give you a myriad of reasons as to why, despite Chicago’s rather quality record, the Bears are probably destined for another playoff disappointment. But frankly, I can’t stomach it at the moment.

Instead, here’s Brett Favre getting rather emotional in his post-game interview with Andrea Kramer. Will he or won’t he retire?!?!! The suspense is kiiiilling me.

Hey you. Yes you. The guy who thought Michigan deserved another shot at Ohio State. I agreed with you for the most part. However, it looks like we were somewhat foolish in our choice of logic, as USC took over in the second half and downed the Wolverines in the Rose Bowl.

Our friend Bob Knight tallied career win No. 880 yesterday. If you happened to catch the post-game festivities, you would have seen a love fest between the General and Dick Vitale. So sexy.

I’ll leave you with Peter Schrager’s bold and not-so-bold 2007 sports predictions. He even got help from some bloggers!

Here’s one of my favorite ones from the lot:

Gilbert Arenas does something really, really weird — prompting bloggers the world over to write about it.

The man knows those of our ilk far too well. Good play, my friend. Good play.