Luol Deng is, like, so angry you guys

July 21st, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

Luol Deng has long seemed miffed that he wasn’t awarded a contract extension — insofar as one’s play can be the sign of such things, he made it clear on the court last year — but he’s never come out and actually said as much. That changed late last night, when Deng told Adrian Woj(narahsdflkasjg)* of Yahoo! Sports that his ish needed to be resolved in two weeks. After that, he’s done. He’s super, super serial:

Deng is determined to come to terms on a long-term contract, but he has set an Aug. 4 deadline to reach an agreement. Once Deng, 23, leaves the country for the European Championship qualifying tournament, he will a sign a one-year qualifying offer for $4.5 million and become an unrestricted free agent in 2009. The message to the Bulls promises to be implicit: Unless the two sides come to terms soon, Deng will never again negotiate with them. He will not let the uncertainty over his future hang over another basketball season, and unless a sign-and-trade is worked out, Deng will play out his final season in 2008-09 and sign elsewhere next summer.

In a way, I’m sort of happy Deng has decided that he’s not going to be held captive to the winds of yet another Jerry Reinsdorf season-long negotiation. That seems fair. But it’s a little ridiculous to think that contract talks really impair one’s ability to play basketball that much. Is it really that much of a strain? You can’t, like, play hard, and stuff? Really?

*I just want to make clear that I know this “joke” — screwing up Woj’s name so badly that it’s obviously intentional — is not funny. Oh my god, his name is ethnic and mono-syllabic! That’s hilarious! I know, OK? I just really didn’t want to figure out how to spell his name. Sorry.

Who are these Magic dudes, and why don’t I know about them

July 7th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

Listening in to the streaming feed of the oh-so-important Bulls-Heat Summer League matchup has been revelatory, but not because of the basketball. The two dudes providing play-by-play have been everything I need in basketball commentary: laughter. I like to think I understand most of the major tenets of the game, so while I like to have Jeff Van Gundy’s brand of wisdom, I don’t need it. What I need are the following:

– Repeated references to how horrible Aaron Gray is. For example: “Aaron Gray makes a slow, awkward move. Not surprisingly, it’s rejected.”
– Being willing to admit that “Tyrus Thomas has been known to eat souls.”
– A dumbest email of the day feature. (For the record, the email asked if Dwyane Wade would get a lot of playing time next year. That is really dumb.)
– “Everything Joakim Noah does looks very awkward to me.”
– A debate on the merits of Kobe’s sneakers.
– “Jamesoff Curry.”

And so on. It’s brilliant stuff. I will struggle to justify watching the rest of Summer League, but Dante and Galante might do the trick. Whoever they are.

Hey, the Bulls are on today

July 7th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

The NBA summer league is not all that important to anyone. I doubt even Derrick Rose and Michael Beasley will deem it important tonight, though maybe they will. Who knows. What I do know is that while most teams sit almost everyone of interest while the most marginal of NBA players get 35 minutes a game, the Bulls are different. They have a new coach with no experience, a team full of young athleticism, and oh yeah, Derrick Rose.

In other words, the Bulls’ summer league is going to be pretty cool.

Today — the game starts at 4 p.m. central, streaming here — I’m predicting four things:

1. Derrick Rose will look every bit as fast as he did in college.
2. Tyrus Thomas will do one amazing thing, and one incredibly stupid thing.
3. Joakim Noah will scream at least five times.
4. Vinny Del Negro won’t even try to call a play.

If those four things happen, we might have Nadal-Federer-level genius at hand. Or not.

K.C. Johnson really hates Joakim Noah

June 27th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

Hey, last night was fun. The Bulls drafted in a position they didn’t deserve and landed a player they didn’t really earn, and the prospects are bright. It was, generally, a fantastic evening to be a basketball fan, unless your name is Darrell Arthur.

But where most people saw the beginning of a bright Chicago Bulls future, Chicago Tribune reporter K.C. Johnson saw the perfect opportunity for a not-so-subtle dig at Joakim Noah:

Derrick Rose likes to attract attention as much as he likes committing turnovers, so a seersucker suit and bow tie definitely weren’t part of his equation Thursday night.

Nevertheless, Rose is all dressed up with somewhere to go after the Bulls used the No. 1 pick in the NBA draft on the speedy, sturdy point guard who grew up in the Englewood neighborhood on the city’s Southwest Side.

Unlike Joakim Noah’s brash and outlandish outfit when he was the team’s first-round pick last year, Rose blended in with a classic gray suit, blue shirt and tie. However, as the Bulls’ first No. 1 overall pick since Elton Brand in 1999, Rose won’t be blending in much anymore.

See, Derrick Rose is going to be good, because he’s really quiet, and Joakim Noah is an evil non-veteran bad seed because he … wore seersucker. And that bow tie. Everyone knows people that wear bow ties are douches.

In related news, it’s Friday, which means part two of THE MOST IMPORTANT SERIES OF OUR TIME. I think the White Sox are winning already.

It’s looking more and more like Derrick Rose

June 19th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

I think, for a while now, most people have assumed the Bulls’ No. 1 overall pick would be Derrick Rose. Ever since I was verbally rebuked by two friends for writing that Michael Beasley made more sense for the Bulls, I’ve gone with the Rose flow. To help the process, I’ve watched numerous Rose highlight films, including the above, which I hope is among John Paxson’s bookmarks. When you have the chance to add that to your team, don’t overthink. Just do it. As they say.

Anyway, the pick has remained a secret, until now. Sort of. Rose and his brother may or may not have just tipped the Bulls’ hand:

But as Rose concluded his two-day visit with the Bulls Thursday at the Berto Center, the point guard sounded unsure if he even had a workout scheduled with the Miami Heat, owners of the second pick in the June 26 NBA draft.

“I don’t think so,” Rose said. “I think I have to ask [agent] B.J. [Armstrong] or someone about it. But all I know now is that I’m here.”

Rose’s older brother and confidante, Reggie, went even stronger, saying Rose won’t visit Miami because “this is our last stop.”

It seems difficult to believe the Heat would pick Rose, even as trade bait, without working him out, so perhaps everyone knows what the Bulls are going to do. If that something is pick Derrick Rose, count me in.

Cautious excitement, Vinny Del Negro-style

June 12th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

Every time I’ve talked about the Vinny Del Negro hiring, I’ve said at least one thing: I’m confused, but cautiously excited. It seems to entirely possible to me that Del Negro is Mike D’Antoni Lite — someone who learned everything he needs to know from Seven Seconds Or Less, and who wants to defend in the interim. Some sort of sneaky rogue pilfering ideas from his genius co-workers. I will take this pilferer, and gladly.

After his press conference yesterday, that caricature sounds an awful lot like reality. Check out these quotes:

“Do I feel totally prepared right now? No,” he said. “And that bothers me. But by the time those decisions need to be made, I will be.”

Means: I have little more than a philosophy. D’Antoni didn’t show me any inbounds plays. I’m working on it.

“If you look at greatness in any sport, all great teams have defensive resolve,” he said. “What I like tremendously about this roster is looking at Thabo [Sefolosha] and Tyrus [Thomas] and [ Joakim] Noah, they’re all versatile guys we would have loved to have had in the draft in Phoenix. They have versatility and can play and defend two or three positions.

Means: I know we have good defensive players on this roster, and I plan to use them. If you think Tyrus Thomas isn’t hard enough to start, you’re dead wrong. I like youth. I’m mentioning these guys by name for a reason — they’re going to play. A lot.

“Offensively, there’s no question my philosophy is to play the game fast and quick. With young players, they have a tendency to try to play fast but be in a hurry. They have to take their time. When you play fast, there’s an unpredictability to basketball that makes it exciting and interesting. We’re going to have to get the percentages in our favor with the unpredictability. But the defensive resolve, we’ll start with and try to play at a fast pace and put players in positions to succeed.”

Means: We’re not going to play fast just to play fast. There’s going to be order. But the minute I have Derrick Rose in my clutches, I will let him go. I will put players in a position to succeed, not succeed for them. I AM D’ANTONI DISTILLED.

“Obviously, you have to be a disciplinarian, but my style also will be to put my arms around them and take them to lunch and talk to them,” Del Negro said. “These are young players who need guidance. Just because you draft players at a high position and they wear the Chicago Bulls jersey doesn’t mean all of a sudden they’re professionals. It takes time.”

Means: Skiles was too mean to these fragile young minds. I believe the children are our future. You must occasionally touch them in reassuring fashion; none of this break-em-down-to-build-em-up stuff. I look forward to our first team campout. I’ll bring s’mores.

I like pretty much all of the above. If Vinny Del Negro is who he says he is, this could be the start of a long and prosperous professional relationship. Vinny has a vision. It’s just a bit blurry, is all.

Vinny Del Negro is not a magician

June 11th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanR

The Bulls unveiled their new never-coached-before head coach, Vinny Del Negro, with an introductory presser this afternoon. And he had this to say about his inexperience:

“I think that [question is] fair,” he said. “I haven’t coached before. But like I said before, as people get to know me and we get this team going in the right direction, winning builds confidence. There’s a young team here and they need some confidence.

“I’m not a magician, it will take time.

“It’s a huge challenge, but I feel very confident with people around me and the support staff I have. I can control three things: I know this team will be well-conditioned, well-prepared and competitive. It will compete at a high level.”

The good here that’s not expressed within these quotes: Del Negro seems to want to focus on defense and  implementing an up-tempo offense. Which with Derrick Rose likely on his way to Chicago, this is a very good thing. The bad here? Vinny Del Negro is not a magician.

Which, as anyones knows, is essential to head coaching success in the NBA. If you can’t pull a rabbit out of a hat, you can’t make grown men play as a cohesive unit. We are doomed. Eternally, eternally doomed.

Vinny Del Negro: Um, OK

June 9th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

It’s official, or at least as official as Doug Collins was last week. Which is to say, not really all that official. Still: Vinny Del Negro is the new coach of the Chicago Bulls.

In scanning that Tribune story, I kept waiting for a paragraph or two about Del Negro’s basketball philosophy. Is he a yeller? A teacher? A runner? A squatter? (A joker? A smoker?) Will he work well with some minor internal strife? Will he utilize Derrek Rose appropriately? What the hell will this man do?

That paragraph never came, not until this at the end:

Little is known about his basketball philosophy since he never has coached before. Del Negro interviewed for the Suns’ coaching job that Terry Porter landed on Saturday, but failed to make Kerr’s list of four finalists.

Well then. No one knows, apparently except John Paxson and Jerry Reinsdorf and Del Negro himself. The one thing we do know about Del Negro is that he’s never coached anywhere before. He has literally no experience. Since he was promoted from his radio gig in Phoenix, he’s always been a front-office guy. So instead of hiring him as an assistant, or as a special advisor to the general manager, the Bulls make him the head coach.

That sounds about right.

Update: Watson just messaged me with this question. This is basically a more concise version of the above.

Matthew: let’s play a game. i say a word or phrase, and you tell me the first thing that pops into your mind:

vinny del negro
go!

me: hair

Needless to say, that word was not “coach.”

Flip Saunders canned; What say you Bulls?

June 3rd, 2008 | Posted by PostmanR

So, Flip Saunders just got peaced by the Pistons. And John Paxson is still interviewing candidates. But yet, Doug Collins is supposedly still going to be the new coach of the Chicago Bulls. I would suggest to John Paxson that he might want to interview Flip Saunders for a few reasons:

1) He took an aging Pistons team to the Conference Finals three years in a row.

2) He developed their bench well this year.

3) He’s not Doug Collins. That is to say: he doesn’t run the world’s slowest offense on the eve of drafting Derrick Rose.

Discuss amongst yourselves or in the interworkings of your own brain.

Phew: Doug Collins is still the Bulls’ coach

June 2nd, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

Hey, remember when the Bulls were going to hire Doug Collins? Not so fast: over the weekend, the Bulls tried to lie and say they maybe weren’t going to hire Collins, even though everyone knew differently anyway:

Like an auto race official worried about a mishap up the track, Bulls officials were waving a figurative caution flag Friday, warning media to slow down on anointing Doug Collins as the team’s next coach. Still, sources insist the only way Collins will not be on the Bulls’ bench next season is if he gets cold feet and takes a pass on what is his job for the taking.

Nothing quite like reportage to douse a story in cold water before it even gets going. Well done, Mssr. Hanley. Of course, today we can rest assured that those sources are correct, and that Doug Collins will, in fact, be bringing his boring half court nonsense back to Chicago. Yay:

The Bulls’ six-week-plus coaching search will end this week, and all signs still point to Doug Collins returning for the most surprising of second chances. But a source said Collins and general manager John Paxson have discussed which assistants would land on Collins’ staff, another indication Collins is nearing a return to the franchise that fired him in 1989 after three successful seasons.

The excitement is palpable. Doug Collins, man. Phew. So good he’ll make you pine for Flip Saunders.