Dunk Contest ‘06: White got slammed

April 3rd, 2006 | Posted by Matt

James White is perhaps the greatest dunker that not many people have even heard of. His senior year, during the McDonald’s All-American weekend, he lost a dunk contest to David “Pretty Fly for a White Guy” Lee, the former Florida Gator standout. Yes, that’s right, David Lee - the same guy who looks like he should be catching air on a skateboard rather than catching air on a tomahawk jam.

White’s an incredible dunker, but he just can’t seem to win any of the contests he’s in. Most recently, White participated in the 2006 NCAA Dunk Contest against Memphis’ Rodney Carney, UNC’s David Noel and Michigan State’s Maurice Ager, among others. In the end though, his numerous free throw line dunks (including a two-handed monster jam and a windmill throwdown) were not enough for Noel’s cartwheel-into-a-backflip combo and other generic slams.

Here’s a video with highlights from the 2006 NCAA Dunk Contest, James White’s free throw line slams included.

James White is just an incredible dunker, but is he a great basketball player? No, not at all. White is in the same breed as guys like Ronnie Fields (former teammate of Kevin Garnett at Farragut Academy in Chicago and Illinois’ Mr. Basketball) and “Baby Jordan” Harold Miner. Yes they could all score, but they needed to be within dunking distance to do so. For most of these guys that just meant within the three-point line, which is still pretty impressive.

So basketball fans, just wait - I’m sure James White will be coming to a dunk contest near you sometime in the future.

Sunday night’s game was a tease, Monday is the real start to the season

April 3rd, 2006 | Posted by Matt

It’s baseball season, folks. It’s time for the weather to brighten up a bit, the grass to get a little bit greener … and all Cubs fans to start hitting the bottle better than the team hits the ball.

That’s right, it’s baseball season, and this Postman couldn’t be happier (mainly because I’m a White Sox fan). But more importantly, this season has the potential to be quite interesting for several reasons:

Future Hall of Famer Barry Bonds, once a wildly popular and widely-respected superstar, has had his career completely tarnished because of ‘roids and this season could mean his demise.

The Phillies’ Jimmy Rollins has the chance to make or break history as he puts his hit streak on the line against Joe DiMaggio’s. Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio? Somebody needs to tell Jimmy that he just has no chance.

Several players, such as Albert Pujols, David Ortiz, Manny Ramirez and Vlad Guerrero, have the potential to be the next Triple Crown winner in the MLB.

But then there are the usual suspects that appear every season - the Cubs vs. White Sox battle, the Red Sox vs. Yankees, Joe Torre vs. George Steinbrenner and, of course, Chris Berman vs. the realization that he sucks at baseball play-by-play. There are too many storylines to list for the 2006 MLB season.

So, without further adeu, let the games begin.

ESPN predicts the 2006 Season

Ultimate 2006 MLB Calender

The quest for a repeat

April 2nd, 2006 | Posted by Matt

The offseason for the Chicago White Sox has been interesting, to say the least. The Sox sat back and enjoyed their World Series Championship. The team acquired the likes of Jim Thome, Javier Vazquez and Rob Mackowiak. The organization rewarded pitchers Jon Garland and Jose Contreras with multi-million dollar contract extensions.

But besides a new World Series banner, some new faces on the roster and some extra cash to throw at their players, the White Sox obtained something in the offseason that they have absolutely never had before - swagger.

They will need more than just swagger to take hold of the AL Central this season though. The Cleveland Indians are a force to be reckoned with and could very well take the AL Central crown. For now, the White Sox are the favorites to win the division.

Tonight, the White Sox will begin the 2006 season against their arch-rival Indians in hopes of repeating as World Series champs.

And the Indians hope to be a thorn in their side yet again.

Whitesox.com Game Preview

ESPN Game Preview

Too good to be true for Kris

March 30th, 2006 | Posted by Matt

Poor Kris Benson. Poor, poor Kris. You had it made. Millions of dollars, a professional sports career and a drop-dead gorgeous wife. Well, I guess 2 out of 3 ain’t so bad.

The couple, married for seven years, has always had plenty of attention on them, but for of the wrong reasons. Kris Benson was and is an exceptionally overrated pitcher who will add very little to the Baltimore Orioles’ pitching staff. As for Anna … well … she’s simply exceptional looking and adds plenty to a photo spread in FHM or Playboy magazine.

However, she’s absolutely crazy. It’s no wonder Kris can barely pitch anymore. Between his wife’s nude photos strewn across internet sites everywhere and her bizarre behavior, the guy just can’t concentrate on the mound.

More importantly, Kris will most likely have the following lyrics stuck in his head for the rest of his life. Or at least until he finds a suitable replacement for Anna.

She got the body of a goddess, everybody know that
Super-cute face and the booty so fat
I’m in the club dropping twenty-four stacks
Cuz I’m in love and that’s a well known fact

Well, Kris Benson was in love with a stripper … and that’s a well known fact.

Greg Oden sure is tall

March 30th, 2006 | Posted by Matt

Last night, future Ohio State Buckeye Greg Oden competed in the McDonald’s All-American game. The 7-footer chipped in 10 points and a ridiculous amount of blocks and showed that he had something new to prove - that he’s tall. (He’s pretty much the size of three Thad Mattas.) Well, that might not be new, but Oden showed just how much of an advantage his physical attributes hold.

The guy looks like Ralph Sampson and plays like Hakeem Olajuwon - plus there’s no doubt he’ll “skyrocket” into the NBA.

With the exception of last night’s 112-84 loss to the West squad, absolutely everything has gone Greg Oden’s way lately. Mr. Oden enjoyed and took part in one of the best high school teams in Indiana’s history. His Lawrence North squad won the state title last Saturday - their third consecutive state championship. He was also just named the Naismith Prep Player of the Year.

Now, Greg Oden can just kick back (in his size 19 kicks), show his face at a few All-Star games, schmooze with celebrities and prepare to work really hard next year - at simply being tall, blocking shots and dunking the basketball.

West rallies, breaks McDonald’s losing streak

We Recommend: Spike TV’s “Pros vs. Joes”

March 27th, 2006 | Posted by Matt

It’s football, it’s basketball, it’s baseball, it’s … ridiculous. But that’s why we love it here at the postmen.

In its first season on Spike TV, the new television series “Pros vs. Joes” gives three wannabe athletes a chance to compete against former professional athletes, with a new cast of characters debuting every week. So far, the show has featured the likes of Dennis “The Worm” Rodman, Jim “The Punky QB” McMahon and Bo “Knows Every Sport” Jackson. And who could forget Jerry “I used to be the greatest receiver in NFL history, but now i’m a reality TV junkie” Rice.

While it may look absolutely absurd, the show is actually very entertaining. First of all, it’s amazing to see how much some of the athletes have changed in the short amount of time they have been out of the game. The best aspect of the show though is how most of the contestants come in thinking that they can actually put up a fight against most of the has-been athletes. However, they quickly discover that there was a reason these guys made it to the pros.

The show ultimately serves two purposes - to entertain sports addicts such as myself and to feed the egos of former professional athletes and make them think they can still hack it. So every Monday night at 10pm, check out “Pros vs. Joes” and see Bill Romanowski take advantage of smaller, non-steroid users - I guess not much has changed after all.

‘Roid users are less a man than pubescent boys

March 23rd, 2006 | Posted by Matt

The book “Game of Shadows” is centered around Barry Bonds’ excessive/ridiculous/incredibly obvious use of steroids over the past several years. But it also includes details concerning Jason Giambi and Gary Sheffield’s use. Giambi has already dealt with his steriod situation to an extent, but Sheffield still deserves his.

Fortunately for Sheffield, he is left in Bonds’ shadows because of the book’s release. Bonds is the one chasing history, not Sheffield, and he continues to take the brunt of the blame for his steriod use - Sheffield is just off the hook.

In the end, I sort of feel bad for these guys. Their reputations are tarnished and they will forever be remembered because of their drug use.

More importantly, Sheffield - like Bonds and Giambi and Sosa and all the other raging ‘roid men - has gone through some very awkward physical changes since the start of his career - much different than a 13-year-old boy going through a string of difficult adolescent changes. These guys have to inject hormones while a 13-year-old just obtains them free of cost and free of needles.

I’m sorry Gary Sheffield and Barry Bonds - but you’re no better off than a Doom-loving, Playboy article-reading, non-female conversing teenage boy.

A kick to the Colts’ backside, and probably straight through the uprights

March 22nd, 2006 | Posted by Matt

The Colts may never ever get to a Super Bowl, but damn they’re smart.

Mike Vanderjagt, whose potential game-winning field goal sailed wide and caused them to lose yet another playoff game yet, was perhaps the biggest meathead on the team with the least amount of reason to be. That’s because he was - that’s right - the kicker. This guy had no right to bitch and moan all of the time and get into arguments with Peyton Manning. That’s because he was, yep you guessed it, the kicker.

So, the Colts decided to go with a little upgrade. They decided to bring in Adam Vinatieri, perhaps the most clutch kicker in NFL history to replace the league’s most accurate. In case you didn’t know this, the Associated Press’ Mike Marot and ESPN’s Len Pasquarelli were there to remind football fans with nearly IDENTICAL leads. That’s some quality journalism right there, folks.

But the Colts won’t be getting their money’s worth in this situation. With their high-powered offense there is very little need for a kicker. It’s Peyton-to-Marvin, or Peyton-to-Reggie, or Peyton-to-Brandon - that’s about it. Unless the Colts are tied or down by 3 with seconds remaining in a playoff game, Vinatieri will serve little purpose for this team other than just sitting on the bench, reminding them of their past debacles.

So good luck, Indianapolis. You’ve combined forces with your arch-nemesis who might just help you win a playoff game or two.

Too bad you don’t have Tom Brady to help you get that Super Bowl.

Is T.O. really worth the money and the hassle?

March 18th, 2006 | Posted by Matt

As a member of the San Francisco 49ers, Terrell Owens made a mockery of the Dallas Cowboys emblem. Owens stood at mid-field, arms raised to the sky in celebration of a touchdown catch until Darren Woodson put him in his place by leveling him to the ground.Now, those same fans that booed him years ago because of one of his signature acts of idiocy will be forced to watch him perform for the Cowboys every single week. That is, until he messes up again.

I feel sorry for Bill Parcells - not only does he have to work under Jerry Jones, one of the worst owners in the NFL, but he has had to put up with Keyshawn Johnson’s ego, Drew Bledsoe’s aging right arm and now Terrell Owens’ … well … God knows what he’ll do next. Luckily for him, Johnson is gone, but he’s being replaced by an even bigger headcase. Don’t get me wrong, Owens is one of the best in the business, but to him that’s all that football has become - a business.

Take for example his newest lucrative contract.

T.O. will now be paid more money in a 3-year span than both Randy Moss and Marvin Harrison, perpetuating the debate of who exactly THE best receiver in the game is right now. Moss has had his problems in the past, but has shut his mouth and played football in Oakland. Harrison is one of the quietest in the game and has been an underrated asset to an otherwise overrated Colts squad. But Owens hasn’t done either of these. He has been loud, obnoxious, arrogant and brash. None of these qualities will dwindle away anytime soon.

It’s just a matter of time, Dallas. Terrell Owens is everything that is wrong with professional sports today and he’s certainly wrong for the Cowboys.

Daunte’s Infernal Saga with ‘The Love Boat’

March 17th, 2006 | Posted by Matt

With his recent trade to the Miami Dolphins, quarterback Daunte Culpepper will probably be spending plenty of time on luxurious yachts. Good thing he had some practice with them last summer.

Many will remember, and few may not care to recall, the Vikings’ sex scandal that occurred before the start of the ‘05 NFL season. Culpepper recently did an interview with ESPN in which he proclaimed his innocence, saying he was unaware that there was any lewd behavior going on around him. If the dozens of strippers/prostitutes/hookers around him weren’t a dead giveaway, then I don’t know what would have been.

Nobody cares what Culpepper did or didn’t do though, that’s the kicker of the situation. What’s incredible is how the Dolphins are giving this guy a chance when they have failed oh so miserably with other hooligans such as Ricky “Don’t Lose That Dealer’s Number” Williams and David “Biceps” Boston. But Miami certainly had a void at quarterback, and what better way to fill it then by cramming a 6-foot-4, 260 pounder in there. On the light side (pun intended), he was at least optimistic about the change.

“I kind of feel like it’s halftime of my career right now,” Culpepper told ESPN’s Andrea Kramer.

If it is in fact halftime, Culpepper needs to suck on an oxygen tank for a while, study a playbook and spend his free time with his family.

And who knows, if he gets injured again he may be spending the second half on the bench … just better not be a boat.