Surprise: The Bears release Cedric Benson

June 9th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

Farewell, Cedric. I’ll never forget your incredibly awesome NFC Championship touchdown run. Or the above photo, which is your legacy. It sucks that you weren’t better at football; surely, you could have stretched the goodwill into having like six or seven assault rifles in your home. Maybe you could have even raped somebody! Teams tend not to care about that stuff when good players do it. Shame.

Meh. Now that I think about it, forget that whole “I’ll never forget” thing. I’ve already forgotten about it. Who are you, again? What are we talking about? Where am I?