Doug Collins is just as slow as you remember

May 30th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

No, not mentally slow. By all accounts, Dougie Fresh — that nickname’s not good enough, either; I’ll keep working on this — is a pretty brilliant basketball mind with the communicative ability to match. Dougie’s slowness is his coaching style, his pace, which John Hollinger calls out today. For fans of uptempo basketball, this is a bad sign:

Collins might be the most extreme slow-pace coach in the past quarter century. I’m amazed nobody has brought this up yet — the guy makes Jeff Van Gundy look like Paul Westhead. His Bulls were the league’s slowest-paced team in 1986-87 and 1987-88, even with Michael Jordan at the peak of his athleticism. Scottie Pippen became a starter in 1988-89, yet Collins had the Bulls playing at the third-slowest pace in the NBA. His Pistons, with a young Grant Hill, were the league’s second-slowest team in both seasons Collins coached in Detroit. And his Wizards were 26th and 27th out of 29 teams in his two years at the helm in Washington.

Exciting! If the Bulls take Derrick Rose, and unless Joey Dorsey’s peerless reportage proves true, they will, the Bulls absolutely should not be slowing down the pace. They should be running at every possible opportunity: Rose utilizing his high dribble stride to get into space; Ben Gordon spotting up in the corner; Tyrus Thomas filling free throw-line extended; Joakim Noah sprinting to the block to collect the mess. Wow. Dear God that sounds awesome. Excuse me for a minute.

/wipes sweat off brow, collects self

Anyway. If the Bulls take Rose, the slowest coach in the past 20 years is not what they need. They need Mike D’Antoni. D’oh.