Patty Kane has hos in different hemispheres

May 22nd, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

When you’re a young hockey star like Blackhawks stud Patrick Kane, you get to live life. Travel. See the sights. Survey women all over the world. You know, the things rap stars say they do when they’re pretending they have more money than they actually do. Your A&R’s not gonna cover that, son!

Anyway, Patrick Kane gets to really live that life. And he’s only 19. For most of us, that means learning about the female anatomy through studious, bleary-eyed observation of wild drunken college girls at grimy midwestern sports bars. Ooh, what’s that one doing? Kissing the other one? Does that mean they’re lesbians, or just really good friends? Conclusion: Maybe both! Kane’s not in college though, so he’s taking a more diversified approach:

You’ve played in a lot of different countries in this world … who’s got the best chicks?

Russia. If you go there, you’ll see the hottest chicks you’ll ever see. It’s not a great area but the girls down there, they’re pretty good.

You’ve played in Canada … how are Canadian ladies?

They’re pretty good. You know it’s funny - they know if you’re a hockey player. It’s pretty good. You don’t really have to initiate much out there, they’ll just come up and talk to you out there so it’s pretty cool.

What about the Euro girls? What about the Swedes and the Fins?

Yeah, the Swedes - they’re all blondes out there. If you like that, I’d head out there too, because they have some pretty good looking ones. I didn’t see too many in Finland that I really liked but I would probably have to say Sweden and Russia were the best for the European countries.

Everyone knows Sweden and Russia bring the heat, but Canada? Is Kane sure he was talking to females? Those weren’t just Canadian men with mullets, right? Because I can tell you from first hand experience: Canadian hockey fans are indistinguishable by sex. If you can’t recognize beer paunch vs. pregnancy, or notice hair length down to the centimeter, it can get pretty confusing.