Dwyane Wade: Best. Son. Ever.

May 19th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

Lots of athletes buy their moms lots of things. And why not? When you’ve got a sudden influx of income to burn, it’s only natural to pay back the woman (and man, if applicable) that raised, supported you through the lean years. The sacrifices of young, poor parenthood are typically not lost on the professional athletes that ever-so-rarely emerge from it. This is a good thing.

Also a good thing: having enough money to buy your mom not just a house, or a car, but her very own house of God. Yes. Dwyane Wade bought his mom an effing church:

Now, that ministry has a new home, called the Temple of Praise. Jolinda Wade’s very own church. Her son bought it, and her children and her congregation gathered to dedicate it Sunday.

“I respect my mother so much, from the life that she used to live and to see her today in the life that she lives. I’m so proud of her,” Dwyane Wade told The Associated Press before the service. “Everybody thinks I’m the miraculous story in the family. I think she is. I think what I’ve done means I’ve been very blessed, but she’s been more than blessed. She’s been anointed.”

Ahem. Well. I applaud Dwyane’s purchase, but dude, take it easy, OK? My mom’s going to read about this and remember that I was supposed to get her a purse for Mother’s Day, and she’s going to start wondering where that purse is. Fortunately, she didn’t pass on the professional-athlete gene, so I don’t really know what she’s complaining about. Weak-ass genes.

Finally, I just want to say congratulations to Dwyane for his purchase. Not only did he provide his mother with a place of worship, he provided her with a solid independent revenue stream for the rest of her life. Everyone knows that owning a church is like having a license to steal.