Cedric Benson looks incredibly happy

May 8th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

It was something of a hectic day in non-Chicago-blogging-related pursuits, so I didn’t get to this earlier, but it’s fantastic stuff: Cedric Benson, on his boat, just a few hours before the Lower Colorado River’s finest decided that was just about enough of that.

As Chris Mottram says, just look at that buzz. A little beer, a little Grey Goose-looking something, a little $175,000 boat, a mother, and hordes of sexy females. There’s absolutely no reason for the Lower Colorado River to bust this party up, except sheer spite, which, I hear, is like 50 percent of every cop’s job description. The other five percent? Power! MUAHAHAHA:

LCRA officials say they will not release any details about the Benson incident, beyond an arrest affidavit that was made public earlier this week, because Benson’s first court hearing is pending for May 19. But they deny police abused Benson or that he was singled out for special scrutiny.

“It’s routine to stop people on the water for safety checks,” said Krista Umscheid, an LCRA spokeswoman.

“It’s not based on anything in particular that people are doing. The officers are not required to have probable cause to do an inspection.”

Ah, yes, probable cause. Such a persistent little nuisance. Why, on thissa here Colorada Rivah, we don’t NEED no PROBABLE CAWSE to come up on yah boat, BOY!

What started off as a funny mental image of Cedric Benson furiously paddling to freedom has turned into a pretty fishy case of premeditated police malignance. And yeah, I just came up with “premeditated police malignance” off the top of my head, son. That’s that lawyerly shit. Yeah, I took the LSAT. No big deal.