Robbie Gould, tequila, Cabo, but sadly, no US Weekly

April 7th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

It’s by now the hoariest of football cliches: Kickers have a tough life. Their job is all expectation and no payoff. Anyone with even a passing interest in sports knows this.

Coincidentally, anyone with even a passing interest in the sport also knows that Matt Leinart, Tom Brady, and Tony Romo get just as much pub for their off-field exploits — dating models, impregnating unsuspecting movie stars, feeding beer bongs to underage girls — as they do for their play on Sundays. But wither Robbie Gould?

The day after the pub crawl, Gould could barely hide his hangover. McKie ribbed him, noting that Gould “lost a 12-round bout with tequila last night.”

The ribbing continued, with one fan teasing Gould about his pasty white body.

“When you’re underneath the canopy to the swim-up bar, you can’t get much sun,” Gould said in his own defense.

I, frankly, am outraged. When will our professional kickers realize that they are models of behavior for our children? When will they learn that getting bombed on tequila sets a much, much worse example than Daddy occasionally having a nightcap or six before he goes to bed? Daddy has a stressful day at work. Mommy makes Daddy’s head hurt. Daddy thinks Mommy is cheating on Daddy.

What? Sorry. I don’t know what happened there. What I meant to say is that Robbie Gould is destroying the very fabric of our society. Why does he hate America? And if you disagree with me, why are you such a terrorist?

{HT: Busted Coverage}