I hate the White Sox, but not the Hawk

February 7th, 2008 | Posted by PostmanE

It’s not exactly breaking news, but the Chicago White Sox’ lead television broadcaster, Hawk Harrelson, just inked a three-year deal that will keep him around U.S. Cellular Field until 2011. If you don’t know who Harrelson is, he’s that weird old dude (pictured left) with a southern accent, perhaps the only person with a legitimate southern accent in the entire northern half of Illinois, let alone Chicago.

I am a Cubs fan, which means I am supposed to hate everything Harrelson stands for. That southern twang is grating; Harrelson’s silly nicknames for players have to annoy even the players themselves; and his knowledge of the game of baseball is often dunked in the worst kind of old-baseball-man stereotypes. If he didn’t coin the term “Grinderball,” he certainly relishes in its existence.

And yet … I cannot hate this man. I’m not sure what it is. Everything my synapses do on a nightly basis tell me that I crave a more relaxed, bipartisan announcing approach. Dick Vitale’s return confirmed as much last night. (It’s good to have him back and everything, but Jesus, is he loud.) So I’d been trying to figure out just why I don’t hate Harrelson, and in the meantime CS Weekly’s Chris Sprow did it for me:

In this age of broadcasters who want to be perceived as unbiased and fair, and with the notion of abject political correctness seeping into all realms, there’s something almost heartening about a true homer like the Hawk. As though some dust from the golden age of the game still is part of current makeup, even if some find it discoloring.I also think it’ll be worth skipping the press box on occasion just to hear Hawk wax about Nick Swisher. How can this not become a classic love affair?

“I looove the Swish.”

Cringe-worthy and still enjoyable. It’s a potent blend.

Harrelson is all that, and he’s still fun. Maybe he’s like your dad. I know my dad says some really ridiculous, borderline-embarrassing things, but his natural affability makes him likable all the same. My friends love my dad, or at least they used to. Harrelson is White Sox fans’ father, if their father had a weird southern twang. It’s hard to hate anyone’s father, isn’t it?

Pot and Kettle Update Hour: So, yeah, Jay Mariotti is apparently able to hate people’s fathers. Vehemently so. Further proof that Mariotti hates everything, even you, reading this right now. Yes, you. Jay Mariotti hates you. And now you know.