How not to run a pep rally

October 1st, 2007 | Posted by PostmanE

Because I like to showcase my spirit — and because I have nothing better to do during my lunch hour besides this — I made my way to the Cubs pep rally in downtown Chicago today. I was hoping for one of those transcendent fan experiences that so rarely happen, but make the doldrums of fandom worthwhile. I was looking for a raised collective consciousness. I was looking for The Spirit.

I got 2003. And 1984.

Note to Cubs organizers, Wayne Messmer, and everyone else involved in today’s pep rally: Showing highlights from two years of infamous and bitter disappointment for Cubs fans is not the way to get me pumped up about fall baseball. Talk about a buzzkill.

Next time, just show Ernie Banks the entire time. (”Come on a journey with Ernie — play ball in the fall!” was such a great line.) Or play the above video on loop. Just don’t remind me of all the reasons why I should ignore my optimism. That’s usually not the way to get me “pepped” about anything.