Lance Briggs is being stupid

August 28th, 2007 | Posted by PostmanE

Remember when your father would reproach whatever dumbass thing you were doing at the time by saying “Hey, don’t be stupid. What are you, stupid?” And you would run and cry to Mom and say “Mom, Dad said I was stupid!” And your mom would tell you that your father didn’t call you stupid, he called what you were doing stupid, even though she never explained the distinction. Still, it always makes you feel better.

Anyway, I’m not saying Lance Briggs is in and of himself stupid … but he’s acting stupid, that’s for sure:

Chicago Bears linebacker Lance Briggs said he panicked after he crashed his new Lamborghini along a highway early Monday morning and initially reported his car stolen after abandoning the mangled vehicle.

Briggs, speaking to reporters after practice on Tuesday, said he called a tow truck after leaving the scene and then reported his car was stolen.

“When it happened, the first thing I did was, obviously, I panicked,” Briggs said. “I didn’t want there to be a big scene there. And so I left the scene. When I left, I called the tow truck. I also was startled, and I called to report that my car was stolen. Within probably 10 minutes, I called back and accepted responsibility for what I did because it was ridiculous in the first place.”

We’ve all been in trouble and panicked, whether with the law, or with loved ones, or whatever, and we all lie before realizing the better of it. I can grant Lance that. I’ll also grant him the benefit of the doubt that leaving the scene of the crime was actually a smart (if dishonest and unethical) thing to do, because a leaving-the-scene ticket sure beats a DUI, especially in the eyes of the adoring public.

Lance Briggs is being stupid, though, because he was in is Lambo on the Edens at 3 a.m. For someone who seemed so totally consumed by his long-term financial future in the offseason — for someone who seems to treasure the money he makes so much he was willing to alienate fans and his front office in a contract holdout — to go coasting in a $300,000 car in the early morning, not only jeopardizing the car but his own life and ability to make a living … well, Lance, that’s stupid.

Ahem: Sorry, Lance. You’re not stupid. But you sure are acting that way.