Jeremy Shockey has a purple hand

August 16th, 2007 | Posted by PostmanR

I love training camp. Where spring training seems dry and stilted, the NFL’s version of the preseason is full-on intensity. Vince Young punched a teammate. Chad Johnson and Madieu Williams fought twice Tuesday at practice. Not to mention, there’s some good-hearted tomfoolery to boot. What kind of tomfoolery do you ask? How about Jeremy Shockey’s purple hand.

From the NY Post (Via CStB):

After lunch yesterday, Shockey went to sign some autographs and revealed a very purple left hand, stained with dye after he stuck it inside his glove, not knowing that it had been booby-trapped with the unwashable substance that banks use to mark money.

It will take days for Shockey to remove the deep purple stain, and undoubtedly much less time to identify the culprit.

Unsmiling, the temperamental tight end clearly did not appreciate the gag and vowed revenge.

“Dead man walking,” he warned.

You know, this could always be a cover up. Are we sure Shockey’s hand isn’t this way because he’s got cash in it at all hours, as he compliments and tips the ladies at the strip club? Nah, probably not. This is just some training camp hi-jinks.

But what I really want to know is: How in the heck did he not realize someone was doing this to him? Did a teammate drug him till he passed out and therefore he couldn’t feel his hand being dipped into dye? These are questions we must find answers to.

You know what, I’m on the case. I’ve just grabbed my trench coat and magnifying glass — see you in Albany. BUM. BUM. BUM.