Case of the Mondays: Pacman Jones might be getting a gig in professional wrestling

July 30th, 2007 | Posted by PostmanR

This does not surprise me:

An e-mail showed up in our inbox calmly enough last night. “Not to be released to press until tuesday…pacman jones is more than likely going to sign a contract with nashville-based total NAW (nonstop action wrestling). nashville-based newschannel5 will break this news on sports in fifteen minutes. check it then if you like.”

Nothing is completely official yet, but Fox Sports has picked up the Nashville WTVF-5 report. HOWEVA, and rather sadly, it looks as though Jones isn’t even going to wrestle and won’t play a villain. He’ll merely exist in “some role” with the company. Lame.

Here all us bloggers thought we’d be ripe with material for the whole NFL season without Pacman on the field. But hey, whatever passes the time for Jones, I suppose.

One MILLION dollars:

Speaking of beleaguered NFL stars, a prisoner is suing Michael Vick for $63 billion claiming Vick “physically hurt[his] feelings and dashed [his] hopes.” Oh man, I’m sure this is going to hold up in the court of law. Why just the other day I sued Canada for being cold in the winter and being responsible for Sum 41 and Avril Lavinge. I sued them for eleven-ty billion dollars.

Check’s in the mail.

Watch out for your eye:

The locker room is a dangerous place. No longer can you just be safe steering clear of athletes’ genitals. Oh no. You must now look out for Emil Brown’s pellet gun. Observe:

At least she was wearing a visor.

Also, this Fire Joe Morgan piece is absolutely brilliant. Read it and be entertained. Ken Tremendous for president.