Brian Urlacher is tired of you, you b—-

July 9th, 2007 | Posted by PostmanE

Far be it from me to judge a man’s interactions with his baby-mama, especially when said baby-mama is currently embroiled in a $100 million countersuit with Michael Flatley, whom she accused of rape before the case was thrown out of court. Whether you consider text messages using the word “bitch” and “hooker” and “pussy” (weeee!) abusive, well, that’s a personal call. Abusive? Eh. Entertaining? Hells yes, you bitch-hookers:

In court documents filed Friday, Tyna Robertson alleges that her son’s father, Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher, sent her text messages, including:
Jan. 1, 1:57 p.m.: “I haven’t even left you tell them to turn around”

Jan. 17, 6:17 p.m.: “Go to hell you f- - - - - - - - - - I was sick”

Jan. 23, 8:51 p.m.: “F - - - You”

Jan. 25, 6:59 p.m.: “Im def going to the super bowl so get them pulled whats the big deak”

Feb. 14, 3:52 p.m.: “Your f - - - - - - nuts I just got done with a long season of work you wouldn’t know what that’s like so Im taking some time off”

Feb. 19, 8:59 a.m.: “Go to hell Ill be there when I get there”

Feb. 21, 4:05 p.m.: “That’s not a favor we agreed on 7 and your not even out of town jack ass”

Feb. 21, 4:22 p.m.: “You are one jealous b - - - - quit threatening me you got no pull in court”

Feb. 21, 11:23 p.m.: “Fyi: F - - - you

Yes, I’m sure that is all very unwarranted. It’s not cool to talk like that, even if you’re being provoked by someone you see as an (allegedly) money-grubbing, sneaky golddigger, bent on making your life miserable and taking your money for that demon seed you two share.  Probably still sort of unwarranted.

I have an idea: let’s pretend this woman is Paris Hilton, instead. They’re both apparently Urlacher’s type, so this shouldn’t be that difficult. See? That abuse seems totally cool now.

(HT: FanHouse, Larry Brown Sports)