Weekend Fun: Divisional playoffs style

January 12th, 2007 | Posted by PostmanE

Is there a better sports month than January? Think about it: the NBA is in full swing (not to mention approaching the always-fun All Star Game), the college basketball season is entering its bonafide conference schedule, college football wraps up with a bang, and the NFL - well, you know all about the NFL.

That’s where we are this weekend: still digesting the college football season, steadying ourselves under the increasing weight of college basketball, keeping one eye on the NBA schedule, and staying squarely focused on the NFL playoffs, a mammoth entity too great for even the most apathetic NFL fan to ignore. Plus, I mean, the Bears are playing.

So let’s go through the Divisional match ups, completely ignoring the gambling lines - I’m not touching those with a ten foot pole - and see what we’ve got here.

Colts at Ravens, Sat. 4:30 p.m. EST

I confess: I thought the Colts were going to lay about 700 yards rushing to Larry Johnson last week, so perhaps I shouldn’t doubt them so vociferously again this week. But … bah, fuck it: they’re going to get crushed. The Ravens D is second in the NFL in rush defense, first in points allowed, sixth in pass yards allowed, and first in total yards allowed. Sure, Manning might be able to hit on some short routes, but Joseph Addai ain’t seen nothing like this.

Ravens 27, Indianapolis 20.

Eagles at Saints, Sat. 8 p.m. EST

Sometimes, in these playoff games, it takes some sort of extenuating circumstance to pick a rooting interest. A bet, perhaps, or maybe some ill will toward your ex-girlfriend’s new Philadelphia boyfriend. (I made that up. Promise.) But this game is not difficult in the least: New Orleans, a team that could uplift a still-struggling city with the flick of a few Drew Brees spirals, or a team led by … Jeff Garcia. Easy decision.

Saints 34, Eagles 17

Seahawks at BEARS, Sun. 1 p.m. EST

On the set of Superfans: Sure, Da Seahawks got an OK offense, der, Bob, but you know what? I think Rexy’s gonna get it done. Grossman’s line: 9 touchdowns, 0 INTs, 847 yards. (What? It could happen! Me, I’ll be watching the game with a Tank Johnson-like ski cap over my face. I can’t take this stuff.)

In all seriousness, I don’t know what to make of this game. The weather is supposed be nasty, but that doesn’t matter; Seattle isn’t exactly Tampa Bay. No, if the Bears have an advantage, it’s - stay with me here - Cedric Benson. He hits the hole, runs hard, needs no cutbacks and doesn’t rely on his footing to get him places. If it’s slippery, Lovie, GIVE THIS MAN THE BALL. Failing that, line up Rex at wide receiver. Might as well.

Don’t think I’m not keeping the faith, though. Who do you think I am?

Da BEARS 123, Seahawks - 22

New England at San Diego, Sun. 4:30 p.m. EST

Now this is a divisional playoff game. Belichick’s wily coaching style (the Patriots stood pat all year, just barely tipping their hand against the Titans in Week 17; what a coach!) vs. Martyball, a style that has apparently all but left San Diego. Problem is, what if the Chargers are nursing a small lead early? If you were a Charger fan, would you feel safe with that lead, knowing your coach might have a relapse and decide to start handing the ball off as many times as is humanly possible? Phillip Rivers will be taking knees on 1st and 10 at the 25, while Tom Brady sits on the sideline, grinning slyly, waiting for that last fourth quarter drive. Scarrrry.

That said, San Diego is still the best team in the league, and the Patriots laid a playoff stinker last year, so maybe Belichick isn’t so infallible. And it’s in San Diego … you know what? I just talked myself into this. Let’s go Chargers.

Chargers 24, Patriots 21