Rex Grossman will take your mother, Dorothy Sharper, out for a nice seafood dinner … and never call her again!

November 30th, 2006 | Posted by PostmanE

Oh Rex. You look so innocent out there. That pasty Bloomington baby-face, the one that so casually turns the ball over, seemingly without a care in the world. You are innocence personified, like a happy little child.

But little children shouldn’t use dirty words, Rex. For shame. From the Chicago Tribune:

With as much sincerity as he could muster with a straight face, Rex Grossman apologized Wednesday to Vikings safety Darren Sharper for “X-rated” comments Sharper claimed the Bears quarterback made to him after he had thrown a go-ahead touchdown pass in September….By labeling Grossman the worst trash-talking quarterback he has heard in 10 years in the NFL, Sharper quickly changed the subject around Halas Hall from Grossman’s vulnerability to his vocabulary.

Whoa. The worst trash-talking quarterback Darren Sharper has ever heard? Are quarterbacks traditionally mild-mannered? Is this some sort of tallest midget award? Am I missing something here?

Apparently Sharper has never played Kurt Warner. Because I heard that dude gets straight biblical with his on-field flo:

“Your mother is a very nice woman, Darren, though I wish she came to church more often. We missed her last Sunday! … What’s that? Oh, wow. I mean, wow. That was really - that was really inappropriate. Wow. You’ve gone and hurt my feelings. …

You know what Darren? Forget you, OK!!! Just - forget you!!! Gosh darnit!!!

Oh jeez, I’ve gotten myself all worked up again and used profanity. Darren, I apologize. No, no, I was out of line. Let me take care of this - Brenda, honey, get me some holy water. We’re going to need an emergency consecration here.“