Joel Pryzbilla shows us all the meaning of sacrifice

November 9th, 2006 | Posted by PostmanE

So many folks are talking about this today it warrants its own post almost by sheer power of aggregation.

Joel Pryzbilla, terminally mediocre Blazers forward, has a truly breathtaking story about the Pryzbilla family jewels. And I say breathtaking because when I read a portion of it, I felt nauseous and short of breath:

Joel Przybilla continues to recover from his injury, and should also be back for the road trip. It’s been a long, painful week for Joel. I’m not going to get into the injury again, but the swelling is going down, and he’s at least able to move around the house a bit now. He’s told me on several occasions, this was the worst pain he’s ever gone through, and was a very scary thing. Good thing he’s got Tiger Woods 07 on the X Box 360.

Oh, and in case you’re still wondering what area of the body Joel is having “soreness” in, let Barrett paint a fuller picture (from an earlier post):

He took a knee to the groin in the Golden State game, and even though the impact was actually slightly above the very sensative (sic) area (I’m trying to paint a picture here), he’s had a tremendous amount of swelling, and as I said, lots of pain.

Paint a picture you did, Mr. Barrett. In fact, given the nature of the injury, I’d say anything more explicit than that would require a parental advisory and a morphine IV. Seriously - I’m struggling here.

That said, there’s a deeper question at work here, one worthy of lofty examination: would you take a excruciatingly painful shot to the testicles - or girls, to whichever body part would hurt most - in exchange for the license to skip work, stay home all day and play video games? Would week-long testicle pain be counterbalanced by the sheer pleasure of, say, Gears of War (which, by the way, had my roommate and I looking a lot like the South Park kids in the World of Warcraft episode yesterday)?

I say yes. I’m comfortable with sacrifice.