Last playoffs school: Mike Piazza and LaRussa’s dog; a soothsaying conversation

October 5th, 2006 | Posted by PostmanR

OK, it’s time to wrap up our playoff previews. Instead of going to a Padre or Cardinal blogger (our last two teams), we’ve got an even better idea. A conversation between Mike Piazza and LaRussa’s recently deceased dog, Res. Res is so omnipotent up in doggie heaven, he already knows the outcome of the playoffs because he can alter them. Seriously.

So yeah, here’s the transcript:

Mike Piazza: So Res, are we going to win the World Series?

Res: No.

MP: Why?

Res: Because the Yankees are.

MP: I thought Jesus hated the Yankees.

Res: You know how I know you’re gay?

MP: My bleached blond hair?

Res: No, you stupid human. Your camouflage uniform.

MP: I didn’t know dogs were so mean.

Res: Hey, when you see in black and white all day on earth you’d be a little rough around the edges, too. Also, I’ve seen LaRussa naked many, many times. I used to go into my cage and cry after that. It really scared me.

MP: One time I saw my dad naked.

Res: Shut the hell up, Mike.

MP: So, did you know that I am the godson of Tommy Lasorda?

Res: Did you know that I am a dog with ferocious teeth and I can kill you with one bite?

MP: I think I need to go now.

Res: You do that.