Marion Jones is … clean? What!?

September 7th, 2006 | Posted by PostmanE

In a twist that will surely make Floyd Landis a very jealous man, formerly dominant female track star Marion Jones was cleared of doping charges after her “B” sample came back negative. The substance in question was EPO, which, according to my own non-existent personal knowledge, probably makes you run faster and seem creepily masculine.

This is good news for Marion, obviously, but … well, excuse me for being a cynical Sally here, but … well … I might need more than this to convince me.

I’m sorry. I know, I know, I should be able to take this in stride - track pun intended, guffaws welcome - but I can’t. It would take something serious to convince me that Marion Jones never did steroids. Some sort of irreducible retroactive test that could prove, definitively, that Ms. Jones never did steroids. Maybe if Jesus came down and told me … or if Barbaro suddenly stood up in his stall, thanked everyone for sending him letters, and then told me that Marion Jones never did steroids, well, fine. I’d believe it then.

But not quite now. Congrats to Marion … but let’s keep things in perspective, eh?