Here is another move tabled to move the Spanish announcers to ESPN “America” for the Derby.

Based on this awesome post, I move to fill the vacant third spot on the postmen roster with TJWater. He is a star.

That being said, can we send Chris Berman over to England to cover tennis next year, and can all things said by Joe Morgan go through a screening process by anyone who has any clue about the game of baseball?

First, Boomer: My first memory of the Home Run Derby was in 1994, when Frank Thomas won in Pittsburgh’s now demolished Three Rivers Stadium. Thomas hit one to straight away center that was measured at 500+ feet. I was 9. After the Thomas’s first round (the round where he hit 9 homers and the 500+foot shot) I didn’t say anything about my then favorite player. At age 9, I turned to my dad and said, “Does this guy (Boomer) ever shut up?” 12 years, 2TV’s, 1 Pittsburgh stadium, 29 Thomas ankle surgeries, and 4,615 goofy Berman neckties later, I found myself still asking the same question. I’m struggling to find the words to describe what an ass clown he sounds like and I think that’s because he’s such a bafoon, its indescribable. From a purely analytical point of view, it gives you no perspective or difference threshhold between the degrees of greatness of the home runs. From the simple point of view as a listener, he makes you want to kick yourself in the nuts to take away the pain from the headache he’s causing. I got it; he’s like that kid in college that every Monday said he went to the “Sickest party of all time” over the weekend. The first time you’re like “oh really, tell me about it. I bet it was amazing.” Then after the same crap for a month (or two batters) you deem the kid/Boomer a huge DB and try to avoid him at all costs. Only with Boomer, this can’t be done. I cant wait for the first home run derby where I don’t have to hear “back back back back….WAY out of here!” or “OH MY that one made it out to (enter random suburb of the All-Star city that Boomer found on mapquest the previous night before the adult movie he ordered came on).” He sucks.

Next, Joe Morgan: Wow. You’d think someone who was such a good hitter, and played with so many other great players would have some kind of a clue about baseball. I can normally deal with how stupid he is every Sunday and stomach through a broadcast, but last night was too much. What killed me was when he was saying how Ryan Howard hits the ball to all fields, and in time will learn to only pull the ball. WHAT?!?!?!?!?! That’s the exact opposite of how its supposed to (and actually does) happen. When young guys are coming up, they primarily just try to mash the hell out of the ball, causing qucker swings, the opening of the front shoulder, and hitting the ball infront of home plate. All of these make you pull the ball. As you become a more seasoned hitter, you tend to do away with these bad habbits, making you not only a better hitter, but a hitter who must be defened to all fields, not just te pull field. I wanted to kick my TV as Morgan talked about “growing into being a pull hitter” about 4 or 5 times. What a moron. Jim Edmonds. Jim Thome, Albert Pujols, Derek Lee, Jeff Bagwell, Mike Piazza, Ken Griffey Jr., Larry Walker, Vlad Guererro, Manny Ramirez, Miguel Tejada: All players who came up and pulled the ball exclusively, then as they became better hitters over the course of their career learned to hit to all fields and undoubtedly (with the exception of Griffey because of injury) became extremely better hitters. I hate Joe Morgan. He should open a suit shop because about all he’s good for is dressing nice for the 30 seconds we actually see him before the game.

A Solution: Get rid of the moron brigade. Instead, give me Ravich, Reynolds, and 2 or 3 all-star pitchers explaining what they’ve discovered about each home run derby participant. Let them say how they get them out, or what the do well that makes them such a hard out/ great long ball hitter.

Actually I dont even care. I’d rather have the women from “The View” commentate the derby instead of super ass clown #1, and the big dumb machine.