Ryan Howard wins Home Run Derby 2006; I get older with very little to show for it

July 11th, 2006 | Posted by PostmanE

ryan-howard.jpgDid you feel the excitement? Did you absorb the rush? Were you able to gather yourself after the storm blew you from your bearings and replaced your previous baseball-watching consciousness with something altogether more enlightened?

Did you - um - hear that Ryan Howard won?

Yes, the Home Run did not fail to dissapoint, and in that, I mean the Home Run dissapointed once again. Perhaps dissapointment is the wrong word. I mean, you know what you’re going to get going in - a bunch of slightly interesting, but mostly boring, bat-to-ball connections with no real tangible impact on anything at all. That expectation doesn’t really make up for the lack of excitement, though; you almost wish someone would put on some sort of crazy ‘obviously this guy’s roiding performance’, just for old times sake. Instead, um, Ryan Howard wins.

The best part of the night, for me, was not the actual flight of the many home runs leaving the park. Instead, it was the pre-Derby speculation that David Ortiz and Ryan Howard were in jeopardy of losing their ability to hit baseballs because particpating in the Derby drastically altered Bobby Abreu’s approach to the game. Seriously, Karl Ravech and the two dwarfs had a serious discussion about this, and the dwarfs were in agreement - Ortiz and Howard are doomed. Abreu is, after all, hitting like 20 points less than what he was before last year’s Derby, which means almost nothing. Or it means that he’s in a pretty long slump that he will one day come out of, or it means that he had a really really good first half last year and has since mailed it in/struggled to regain form.

Whatever the reason, it can not be the Home Run Derby. But we’ll see, I guess, when Ortiz and Howard start whiffing incessantly. Call it the Derby curse. Oh wait, Jayson Stark actually did that. Yikes.

One more quick highlight: There was an anti-steroid commercial at the end of the show last night. No, really. Suprisingly, Jose Canseco was not the pitch man. Dissapointing. Another Home Run Derby, indeed.

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4 Responses to “ Ryan Howard wins Home Run Derby 2006; I get older with very little to show for it”


  1. TJWater
    July 11, 200611:41 am

    I actually enjoyed the Home Run Derby. Admittedly, I am kind of a baseball nerd but don’t have the MLB extra innings package, so the only new swings I’ve been seeing on a consistant basis lately have been those of Angel Pagan, Brian Anderson, and Freddy Bynum. Seeing Ryan Howard and David Wright in a “mash the hell out of the ball” contest was a lot of fun for me. Two things that stood out for me were the absolutely impeccable hitting mechanics of David Wright (on the same level as Pujols) and the effortlessness of Howard’s power (reminded me of David Justice in his prime). These were the two I was most interested in seeing, and both made it all the way to the finals and entertained me the entire time. Not to mention I won a nice amount of beer money by betting on Howard.

    That being said, can we send Chris Berman over to England to cover tennis next year, and can all things said by Joe Morgan go through a screening process by anyone who has any clue about the game of baseball?

    First, Boomer: My first memory of the Home Run Derby was in 1994, when Frank Thomas won in Pittsburgh’s now demolished Three Rivers Stadium. Thomas hit one to straight away center that was measured at 500+ feet. I was 9. After the Thomas’s first round (the round where he hit 9 homers and the 500+foot shot) I didn’t say anything about my then favorite player. At age 9, I turned to my dad and said, “Does this guy (Boomer) ever shut up?” 12 years, 2TV’s, 1 Pittsburgh stadium, 29 Thomas ankle surgeries, and 4,615 goofy Berman neckties later, I found myself still asking the same question. I’m struggling to find the words to describe what an ass clown he sounds like and I think that’s because he’s such a bafoon, its indescribable. From a purely analytical point of view, it gives you no perspective or difference threshhold between the degrees of greatness of the home runs. From the simple point of view as a listener, he makes you want to kick yourself in the nuts to take away the pain from the headache he’s causing. I got it; he’s like that kid in college that every Monday said he went to the “Sickest party of all time” over the weekend. The first time you’re like “oh really, tell me about it. I bet it was amazing.” Then after the same crap for a month (or two batters) you deem the kid/Boomer a huge DB and try to avoid him at all costs. Only with Boomer, this can’t be done. I cant wait for the first home run derby where I don’t have to hear “back back back back….WAY out of here!” or “OH MY that one made it out to (enter random suburb of the All-Star city that Boomer found on mapquest the previous night before the adult movie he ordered came on).” He sucks.

    Next, Joe Morgan: Wow. You’d think someone who was such a good hitter, and played with so many other great players would have some kind of a clue about baseball. I can normally deal with how stupid he is every Sunday and stomach through a broadcast, but last night was too much. What killed me was when he was saying how Ryan Howard hits the ball to all fields, and in time will learn to only pull the ball. WHAT?!?!?!?!?! That’s the exact opposite of how its supposed to (and actually does) happen. When young guys are coming up, they primarily just try to mash the hell out of the ball, causing qucker swings, the opening of the front shoulder, and hitting the ball infront of home plate. All of these make you pull the ball. As you become a more seasoned hitter, you tend to do away with these bad habbits, making you not only a better hitter, but a hitter who must be defened to all fields, not just te pull field. I wanted to kick my TV as Morgan talked about “growing into being a pull hitter” about 4 or 5 times. What a moron. Jim Edmonds. Jim Thome, Albert Pujols, Derek Lee, Jeff Bagwell, Mike Piazza, Ken Griffey Jr., Larry Walker, Vlad Guererro, Manny Ramirez, Miguel Tejada: All players who came up and pulled the ball exclusively, then as they became better hitters over the course of their career learned to hit to all fields and undoubtedly (with the exception of Griffey because of injury) became extremely better hitters. I hate Joe Morgan. He should open a suit shop because about all he’s good for is dressing nice for the 30 seconds we actually see him before the game.

    A Solution: Get rid of the moron brigade. Instead, give me Ravich, Reynolds, and 2 or 3 all-star pitchers explaining what they’ve discovered about each home run derby participant. Let them say how they get them out, or what the do well that makes them such a hard out/ great long ball hitter.

    Actually I dont even care. I’d rather have the women from “The View” commentate the derby instead of super ass clown #1, and the big dumb machine.

  2. Jason
    July 11, 200612:01 pm

    Haha…excellent comment. And I loved your “huge DB” reference…kudos.

  3. PMK
    July 11, 20069:07 pm

    TJWater, tremendous showing. Must have been a quiet day at the SEC.

    Based on this awesome post, I move to fill the vacant third spot on the postmen roster with TJWater. He is a star.

  4. PMK
    July 11, 20069:11 pm

    You know, I thought a little more about your post TJWater, and realized I didn’t notice the announcers like you did. Why not, you may ask. Por que I am in Mexico right now and watched it on ESPN Deportes. The only thing I could make out was the rapid talking followed by a quick “Ryeeen Howard” or something to that effect. However, the home run call of “NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!” (in a rhythm of course which I cannot describe in word) was truly something amazing. I wish we could all be so lucky to enjoy such telecasts in Espanol while enjoying the pleasures of the USA.

    Here is another move tabled to move the Spanish announcers to ESPN “America” for the Derby.

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