All-Star Game 2006: This time it matters! Did we tell you it matters this year? Because it does, OK! It matters!! No ties, we promise!! Please watch!! This time it MATTERS!!!

July 11th, 2006 | Posted by PostmanE

Ahem. Excuse me. Got a bit carried away with the title, there, but you’ll have to forgive me. Yesterday, somewhere between starting a new job and getting a $130 traffic ticket on my bicycle and inexplicably sitting through the entire Home Run Derby, I was informed roughly 2,000 times that, yes, in fact, the All-Star Game does have some bearing on future happenings, and thus, it…um…matters this year.

It might have been the most frustrating day of my young life. And I’m not even mad about the ticket anymore. You get the gist.

Oh, but we are indeed here for the All-Star Game, purveyor of World Series home field advantage and daring venue of the world’s greatest, most talented, most dedicated baseball players. Except him. And him. And a bunch of other people who are good enough but didn’t win over enough fans this year, including him. Well, I’m sure they’re at least hosting the game in some sort of exotic, beautiful locale, the kind of place that would allow me to forget this mundane life for just one night. Oh, it’s in Pittsburgh. Christ.

Excuse my sarcasm. The game should actually be rather entertaining stuff, even if I don’t buy the whole concept of it “meaning anything” now. At the very least, it should prove to be more engaging than the Home Run Derby last night.

So, strap it in people. Unless you hate the Yankees. Or Red Sox. Or White Sox. Because, um, like every AL player is one of the three. Sigh.

Oops, sorry. Ahem…ALL-STAR GAME 2006! IT F$@#%G SDFDFS MATTERS! AHHHHHHH