Revisiting the Oswaldo Guillen Situation

June 22nd, 2006 | Posted by PostmanR

So, this Ozzie Guillen f-word story (not the four letter one, the three letter one, silly) has become a big deal. (A bigger deal than even the mighty Ron Burgundy, in fact.) It’s all over ESPN, the radio, the blogosphere, you know; pretty much anywhere sports opinion disseminates from, you’ll find commentary on it.

Few quick things on it.

First, plain and simple, he shouldn’t have used that word. Even though he wasn’t targeting gay people, as he said, that word in today’s society has negative connotations. Sure, plenty of players and managers talk like this in the clubhouse, but to do it in front of a bunch of microphones, well that’s just plain stupid.

Second, as commenter Sam pointed out, as long as the White Sox are winning, Guillen’s outbursts will most likely continue to be tolerated by the club. It doesn’t seem like Sox owner Jerry Reinsdorf came down on him too hard, only telling him he shouldn’t have used that word. The Chicago Sports Review has an excellent take on this situation, essentially saying he is ‘forfeiting his ability to ever manage a struggling baseball team’ because of his antics. I’m going to have to go ahead and agree with their take. If you have even a remote interest in this, I would suggest reading it. It’s one of the better written columns I’ve ever read, regardless of subject matter. (It makes mention of some scholarly book I’ve never heard of, but you don’t have to have read the said book to understand the concept the writer uses to illustrate his point in the column. Phew.)

And third, Mariotti still sucks. I’m glad Guillen is not backing down on that. But for as much as I applaud him for doing that, all he (and the entire White Sox organization, for that matter) are doing is fueling Mariotti’s ego, fame, fortune and essentially his ineptitude as a writer. Really, the best solution for Ozzie and the White Sox would be to just ignore Mariotti. Sox announcer Hawk Harrelson continues to bring up how he doesn’t like him. Everyone knows Reinsdorf and Mariotti have gotten into many feuds in the past. To continue to verbalize it only makes matters worse. Just ignore the dude.

Hell, we’re even contributing to his fame and fortune by posting about it right now. (Well, maybe.)

Oh, and if you need proof Mariotti is not good at what he does, here it is for you. (Again, I highly suggest you take a look at that.)

But all of this is neither here nor there. What’s really important is who would win in a fight between these two loudmouthed bravados. (This is an idea that’s been used on other sites and really since the dawn of mankind, or dinosaurkind, you choose. We’re not claiming to be revolutionaries or anything here with this idea.)

If we have 20 people vote on our poll, we’re claiming moral victory for ourselves. Get at it after the jump. (Height, weight, strengths and weaknesses included!)

Jay ‘The unibrowed Italian Stallion’ Mariotti

Age: 45 (born in 1961)
Height: 6’ 1”
Weight: 190
Hometown: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Strengths: All-time leader for wins on Around the Horn. (Counts for something, right?) Has the ability to completely change fighting style mid-match. (Similar to changing his opinions mid-column and mid-season.) Has lots of fighting experience. (Add Tony Kornheiser and Woody Paige to people we mentioned above.)

Weaknesses: Short reach. (Compounded by years of not holding out a tape recorder or microphone at press conferences, interviews, etc.) Large head and mouth. (Easier for scrappy little Ozzie to get in a punch!)

Ozzie ‘I don’t give a f*^k’ Gullien

Age: 42
Height: 5’ 11”
Weight: 150
Hometown: Ocumare del Tuy, Miranda State, Venezuela

Strenghts: Two World Series rings. One with Sox, other with Marlins. (Proves he’s a winner.) Smart fighter. Knows his strengths and weaknesses as well as his opponents. (Similar to managerial style.) He’s from Venezuela. (Dealt with the ‘hard-knock life’ growing up as a kid. The dude from Pittsburgh didn’t.)

Weaknesses: Likes to whine to referee mid-match, exposing him to opponents. (This works from the dugout, but not in the ring.) Lacks a strong right jab. (Never hit for power during his major league tenure.)

O yeah, here’s that poll thing. Vote away!