It’s Germany 3, Costa Rica 1, but we have grievances to air…

June 9th, 2006 | Posted by PostmanE

FireMarceloBalboa.com. It doesn’t exist. But it should.

Don’t get us wrong. When we were little kids, we loved Balboa. We pestered our culturally-conservative father with talk of growing our hair out into Marcelo’s flowing, quas-mullet. And we’ll never forget when Balboa nearly whipped a bicycle-kick into the net in the 1994 World Cup. We injured our back a bunch that year, in hopes of emulating the move.

But Balboa in the announcers’ box, as he was today for ESPN2’s broadcast of the Germany-Costa Rica WC opener, Balboa is BRUTAL.

He says things like “injuries are all mental.” No, Marcelo, they’re physical, unless you want to assume that every player is a headcase and can’t recover from bumps and bruises without severe pyshcoanalytical treatment.

That comment is only the tip of the iceberg. Of all the brilliant soccer announcers around the world, ESPN is convinced we need a former U.S. player with crazy hair to entertain us.

Then again, maybe they’re right.

(By the way, Germany is up 3-1 right now, and it’s still early in the second half. The first 30 minutes, yielding wild play and 3 goals, couldn’t have been any more fun to watch. Cheers to the World Cup.)

(Update: Wanchope just scored his second goal for Costa Rica. At 3-2, the Ticos aren’t out of it yet.)

(Update: Torsten Frings just hit, as the British would say, “a cracker!” from about 30 yards out. Unbelievable goal. It’s 4-2 Germany, and that should just about do it.)